Pop Culture

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Of Fembots and Bikini Machines

/ jstater / 8 Comments

During the 1960’s, beach movies by AIP (American International Pictures) briefly ruled the earth. As unfortunately as they might have been (honestly – I like most of them for exactly the reasons movie critics would tell me I should dislike them), their spawn were even stranger.

Enter Doctor Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine, a spy movie (kinda sorta) from AIP. Having just watched this movie over the weekend, I can report that is surprisingly high budget (for the time period and the quality of the picture), and even more amazing – not nearly as bad as it should have been. The presence of Vincent Price as Dr. Goldfoot probably has a lot to do with my forming this opinion, because I am an unabashed fan of his work. I also found the female lead, Susan Hart, surprisingly engaging as Diane (i.e. Number 11), the star of this particular blog post.

I’ll freely admit that I’m no expert on the subject of sexy fembots (though writing those words, I now am forced to wonder why not). I think Dr. Goldfoot may be the originator of the swinging, sexy, sixties fembots that plagued Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery. I know – Maria/Futura/Hel/Robotrix in Metropolis – but she didn’t swing like a pendulum do, so I’m not counting her.

In this case, they are gold bikini clad and possibly made from actual body parts filled with robot parts. They are produced by a large computer-ish machine, so maybe the bio-ingredients are rendered down into a paste and sprayed onto the robot chasis. They appear to do their best to avoid going “all the way” (as the kids say), so whether they are physically capable of going all the way is certainly in question. Diane, Number 11, is said by Dr. Goldfoot to be the most perfect of them – though that doesn’t stop him from torturing her with electro-shocks and menial floor scrubbing when she fails in her mission.

Dr. Goldfoot’s plan is simple, and would make a great Mystery Men! adventure. He picks a millionaire out of a magazine, programs his fembot to know what she needs to know to get him, equips the fembots with opera glasses that can jab poison needles into the eyes of their rivals, or lipsticks that shoot laser rays to blow their rivals’ head’s off, and sends them off to get hitched. They then use their feminine wiles to get power of attorney and then hand over the millionaire’s wealth to Dr. Goldfoot. Nice scheme … and it almost works. Or maybe it does. They never actually establish the SIC (Security International Command if my memory serves) completely foils the mad scientist.

Diane (Super Villainess), Adventurer
Number 11, Fembot
STR 7 | DEX 5 | CON 5 | INT 2 | WIL 2 | CHA 7
LVL 6 | HP 50 | DC 11 | ATK+6 | SPD 2| XP 7K

Powers: Charm (with kiss), Invulnerability III, Legend Lore (only very specific subjects that she has been programmed in), Phase (1/day), Super Cha +4, Super Str +4

Gear: Trench coat, fedora, walkie-talkie (implanted in head)

If we’re going to show the creation, we might as well show the creator.

Doctor Goldfoot (Super Villain), Scientist
True name unknown, Mad Scientist and Reanimator
STR 2 | DEX 3 | CON 6 | INT 12 | WIL 9 | CHA 3
LVL 11 | HP 50 | DC 10 | ATK+6 | SPD 2| XP 17.4K

Powers: Science Pool (30,000 XP)

Gear: Gold shoes with bells on the toes, handgun, super science devices

 

Blogger Appreciation Day & Lulu Sale

/ jstater / 2 Comments

Apparently, it is Blogger Appreciation Day. So, just wanted to say thanks to all the various bloggers I read and enjoy, from old school (and sometimes new school) RPGs to economics to art and design. We live in an age of wonders when people from all over the world can come together in real time and argue about crap like ascending vs. descending AC, ability limits based on gender, the wisdom of level limits and whether or not alignment languages are stupid.

Also – in case you are interested – Lulu is doing a 29% off Leap Day sale. If you’ve been thinking about a purchase from me or any of the other fine folks who sell their wares on Lulu, today is probably a good day to take the leap!

You see what I did there? “take the leap” – Leap Year. That’s a joke, son. A funny. I keep pitchin’ ’em, but you ain’t catchin’ ’em. You must have a hole in your glove …

Or if you prefer the original …

Monster Matinee – Attack of the Crab Monsters

/ jstater / 7 Comments

I’m working my way through the public domain sci-fi/horror movies on Pub-D-Hub, and last night I took in Roger Corman’s Attack of the Crab Monsters (1957).

Spoilers are a comin’, so be warned.

The combination of “Corman” and “Crab Monsters” doesn’t fill a person with much hope. The monsters, I assumed, would either be men in rubber suits or green-screened crabs made to look giant harassing a bunch of strangers, etc. I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. It is a movie in the sub-genre of “group of people menaced by monsters, dying one by one”, but had some pretty clever details – oh, and one of the characters is played by Russell Johnson, better known as the Professor on Giligan’s Island!

Still trying to get a transmitter to work, and not a coconut in sight

The “crab monsters” in the title weren’t what I expected. They were giant crabs altered by atomic tests on an island. As it was described in the movie, they weren’t just enlarged crabs. Their atoms had been detached from one another in such a manner that they were in a semi-liquid state – liquid given a permanent shape. Their weird atomic structure has given them additional abilities. When the crabs consume people, their atoms simply join the crab’s atoms, making them a sentient part of the crab. Several people’s minds and memories can exist within the crab simultaneously, and though they retain their memories, their personalities change. They now seek the continued survival of the crab, even if that means killing former friends. The crab’s are also capable of transmitting telepathic messages via bits of metal, these messages being in the voice of the people that have absorbed. The crabs can regenerate body parts and generate significant amounts of heat, but electricity turns them quickly to dust.

The giant crabs, there are two in the film initially, are intent on destroying their island to keep people from discovering their existence. One of them is “with child”, and once the crabs have increased their numbers under the waves, they plan on expanding their dominion. They are destroying the island using dynamite they have captured from the various groups of soldiers and scientists that have come to investigate an aircraft that crashed near the island.

Naturally, a monster this creative needs some game stats!

Crab Monster (Blood & Treasure)
Large Magical Beast, Neutral, Average Intelligence; Cast (1d6)

HD 6; AC 14; Atk 2 claws (2d6 + grapple); Speed 30 (Swim 20); Save F6, R7, W10; XP 600; Special: Immune to fire, generate heat, resistance to physical weapons, vulnerable to electricity, consume memories, telepathy 300-ft. (transmits through metal).

Crab monsters can generate heat in a radius of 30 feet. This can be done three times per day and 10 minutes at a time, and all in the radius suffer 1d4 points of damage per round. Metal in the area of effect is affected as per the heat metal spell.

Crab Monster (Mystery Men!)

Level 6; Physique 5; Mentality 5; DC 16; SPD 2; XP 2800; ATK 2 claws (2d6); POW consume memories*, correspond, energy burst (fire), energy immunity (fire, lasers), energy vulnerability (electricity), half damage from physical attacks

When a crab monster consumes a person, they add their mind to their own. These minds remain independent, but are now part of the crab and work for the crab’s survival and interests, even turning on former allies. The crab can correspond telepathically using the voices of the people it has consumed. Increase the crab’s Mentality score to that of the highest Intelligence it has consumed. Any psychic powers possessed by a person consumed by the crab monster are now possessed by the crab monster.

Crab Monster (Space Princess)

HD 6 | DEF 19 | FIGHT 12 (2d6) | SHOOT 11 | MOVE N | STR 6 | DEX 5 | MEN 4 | KNO 4 | DL 9

Crab monsters are immune to fire and heat, and suffer only half damage from lasers and ray guns and from physical attacks. Electricity attacks inflict double damage on them. Crab monsters absorb the KNO and MEN of people they consume, increasing their values to the highest value they have consumed. They also absorb the psychic powers and knowledge-based skills of people they consume, though they might not be able to use these skills due to physical limitations. Crab monsters communicate telepathically using the voices of the people they have absorbed. This telepathy can only be heard through metal.

OSR Conservation / Best Thing I’ve Seen Today

/ jstater / 1 Comment

1. OSR CONSERVATION
If you haven’t already, you might want to check out the OSR Conservation project. Basically, folks like me can upload some of the gaming stuff we’ve created to make sure it is preserved even if we disappear from the face of the earth. I’ve just uploaded NOD 1 and NOD 6, as well as the basic rules for Pars Fortuna.

There are many other things to download there, and if you have something you would like to upload, by all means do so!

2. BEST THING I’VE SEEN TODAY
On a side note, just saw this piece of work on DeviantArt …

http://backend.deviantart.com/embed/view.swf?1
Thor by ~Andrew-Robinson on deviantART

Best thing I’ve seen today. Simple, clean and powerful.

NOD 10 Goes Live!

/ jstater

NOD 10 – the August issue – is finally live. The Mutant Trucker article was holding things up, but since I had enough material without it, I’m pushing it back to next issue and getting this show on the road. Here’s the description …

NOD is rounding out Summer with the remainder of the Mu-Pan hex crawl begun in issue 8. It also presents the Leech, a new playable class, randomized chimerae, two new races for PARS FORTUNA, two new Demon Lords and a continuation of Phantastes. 80 pages. 

E-Book (PDF) is up for sale at $3.50. I’ll get the print book up once I get my proof copy. You can visit my Lulu shop HERE.

Hopefully, I’ll get a more entertaining and useful post up later today.

Invasion America!

/ jstater / 2 Comments

I came across this article recently positing an invasion of the United States by the Nazis during World War II. It immediately brought to mind two games from my wargaming past – RISK and Axis & Allies (and Invasion America, though I never actually played that one). I got RISK as a kid and immediately fell in love with it – one of those “I didn’t know something like this even existed!” moments.

I was big into militaria and WW2 as a kid – watching Victory at Sea on Sunday mornings on the local TV station (KVVU, Channel 5) and playing war with other kids in the neigborhood. I remember my first game was played against a friend in the neighborhood and my dad. I played the blue army, naturally, and my father the red army. When he finally beat me, I felt like I’d failed the USA and let the Soviets conquer the world – what a lousy feeling. Fortunately, he gave me some pointers – mostly on not spreading myself thin and attacking at all costs – and I improved quite a bit at RISK. I now move at a snails pace, building up so much depth that attacks crash against me like waves on a shore. The last time I played was a few years ago, with my daughter. The first game I played with her she couldn’t roll a bad dice and she won. She decided RISK was a great game. The next two went to me and she decided she was going to take a break from RISK for a while. C’est la vie.

I was introduced to Axis & Allies (one of the greatest game covers ever, by the way) by some guys I worked with at a video store (VIDEO PARK – World’s Largest Video Store). They also introduced me to SUPREMACY. Fun stuff. I learned the hard way that Axis & Allies is designed to replicate the strategies used in WW2 – almost like wargame railroading. You wander too far off the reservation, and things can get tough. I can still remember a good friend of mine and I were going to be playing the Axis in a game and we spent the entire day at work plotting our strategy. We seized on the idea of Germany building an aircraft carrier and threatening the USA with its fighters – the Allies would never expect it – we would be unstoppable. Unfortunately, we were playing with a guy who didn’t think in terms of military strategy, but rather game strategy – and he also had a knack for rolling dice. Germany built its ill-conceived carrier and, like the real carrier built by the Germans, it took forever, was finally stuck in port, and then unceremoniously sunk when the Allies came across the Channel. Still – good times, and very instructive about the importance of understanding the logic of the game rules over the logic of the “real world”, even in terms of old school, rules-lite games.

NOD 9 PDF On Sale Now!

/ jstater / 6 Comments

Five days into July, and the June issue of NOD is finally on sale. Currently, I have only the PDF up for sale – when I have a print copy in my hands for review I’ll put the print version up for sale as well. PDF price is $3.50. For this princely sum, you get:

Yun-Bai-Du – Fantasy city for the Mu-Pan setting introduced in NOD 8. Features some keen art by Jon Kaufman.

Altered States of America – Campaign Sketchbook article describing a Napoleonic fantasy campaign set in a North America of warring states.

The Titans’ Door – A Pars Fortuna adventure for low level characters that takes place in a massive stone door and challenges the party to enter through the keyhole and unlock the door. Features an illustration by Kelvin Green.

Washed Out in Washoe – A Mystery Men! adventure for super human heroes; The Black Dragon is holding Silverado City ransom – can the heroes stop him from wiping it off the face of the Earth?

Plus magic coins and portals, the Jack-of-All-Trades class and another installment of Phantastes. 60 pages. Click HERE to purchase.

NOD 8 On Sale Now!

/ jstater / 8 Comments

Finally finally finally!

Enter the land of the Dragon Chans! This issue presents a sandbox hex crawl inspired by the folklore and literature of Asia, as well as a new class, the wushen, options for warriors, many new monsters and a pantheon based on Lord Dunsany’s Gods of Pegana. 104 pages.

Articles are:

A Bevy of Bujin – options for customizing the bujin class

The Wushen – a sohei sub-class for Ruins & Ronin
 
Land of the Dragon Chans – the hex crawl, Asia-style

Monsters of Mu-Pan – 42 new monsters for your favorite old school game

Gods of Mu-Pan – a pantheon based on Lord Dunsany’s Gods of Pegana.

Print version is $10 (apparently Lulu failed its save vs. inflation)

E-Book is $3.50

I haven’t received my print version yet, so buyer beware.