Strange Interlude

The McNod Group

/ jstater

Hey all you cats and kittens … just writing a grab bag today because hey, sometimes you can’t focus … especially not on the last nice week of weather Vegas will see until October!

I’ll be covering things today like they did on the McLaughlin Group, hence the stupid post title.

ISSUE ONE – Slipgate Chokepoint

Andrew Walter has a Kickstarter running for a pen & pencil re-creation of a 90’s era first-person shooter video game. If those games make you all goose-pimply, then check it out. The product is a supplement to the Stay Frosty RPG, and aims to turn the action in that game up a notch – faster and more deadly. Give it a look see, ladies and gentlement. There are still 22 days left on the campaign, so plenty of time to get in on the ground floor.

ISSUE TWO – MEMORIAL DAY

Another Memorial Day rolls around, and unfortunately we have even more American warriors to remember in 2020. My grandfather served in World War II as a doctor in a field hospital set up to take care of the survivors of the Hiroshima bombing. He didn’t tell stories about it, because I imagine the things he saw he didn’t want the rest of us to struggle with. A great-uncle of mine was a Seabee. I remember him talking about how eerie it was to be on an island, thick with jungle, and know that there were Japanese soldiers out there, just beyond the lights, watching.

I also have a couple uncles who served in the Korean War, one in the US Army, the other the Marine Corps. My father served in the US Air Force during the Vietnam War. What I’m saying is that I’ve been lucky enough to know many people who served their country, and I’m sure many of you readers have as well. If you don’t know anyone who served, I’d say get out there and get to know one – it enriches your perspectives about a great many things. There aren’t many World War II veterans left, nor veterans of the Korean War. It’s hard to believe that the Vietnam Veterans are now as old as the WW2 vets were when I was a little kid. I’m not saying you should try to drag war stories out of people – those tales can be very painful. I’m just saying it’s very worthwhile to get to know people who have survived the experience of war. And honor them, because they need the love.

ISSUE THREE – THINK SMALL

I suppose there are some readers out there who aren’t mired in Great Depression-era unemployment as a result of lockdowns from COVID-19 – count yourselves lucky. My own state of Nevada has hit 28% unemployment, the highest in the country and double what we had during the Great Recession. Folks, it’s tough out there, and especially for small businesses. If you have the ability to do so, throw as much of your business as possible their way. The giant megacorps will suffer, but not nearly as much, and frankly, if half the McDonalds or Starbucks had to close, there would still be lots of McDonalds and Starbucks … though I’d hate to see their employees lose their jobs.

Still, when little independently run businesses give up the ghost, they’re gone forever. In the last couple weeks we’ve gotten back out to Cash 4 Chaos, the punk/rock shop we dig – got a VHS copy of Ladyhawke we watched last night and a some bitchin’ shirts for my daughter and me. We hit our favorite antique mall on Saturday, all masked up, and then ordered dinner from our favorite mexican restaurant, Casa Don Juan, which re-opened this weekend. We’ve been hitting as many of our favorite spots as we can, including the awesome Omelet House 50’s Diner we’ve patronized for the last 25 years – it’s run by some really beautiful folks. It sounds like Zia Records is open again, so I’m itching to visit them, and to get back out to Boulder City and all their great restaurants and shosp. Remember, these folks are really hurting, and they need your help to stay open, so please consider throwing your coin their way.

ISSUE FOUR – LADYHAWKE ON VHS

Since I brought it up – how great is Ladyhawke? It’s such a cozy movie in many ways – up close and personal, not grand and overbearing like so many modern flicks. It’s not a perfect film by any means, but Broderick is great (and I wonder if this movie had any effect on him getting Ferris Bueller), Michelle Pfeiffer is wonderful and so lovely and Rutger Hauer just loosk perfect on that black charger, hawk on his arm, zweihander by his side. The curse of the lovers is tragic, keeping them apart, and I dig the ending, whereby it becomes more a “man vs. self” story than “man vs. man”. If you haven’t watched the film, give it a shot. The uber 80’s soundtrack lends the movie an air of weirdness, but if you grew up on that sound, it’s just nostalgic gravy.

Like I mentioned above, since I got a couple working VCR’s last year we’ve been enjoying grabbing some favorite movies on VHS. In the last month, we’ve done some old school viewings of Ladyhawke, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and Legend (which I’d never seen straight through) and the three Star Wars films (there are only three of them, you know … Return of the Jedi was the last one they made … just leave me to my illusions) before that Lucas guy messed with them.

Watching the movies on VHS is partly nostagia, since I grew up not only watching those things, but working in the World’s Largest Video Store (and meeting my future wife there). The picture below is of the music video section at my store, the Video Park – it was a rereation of the Beetle’s Yellow Submarine. We had a real haunted house for the horror movies, a circus tent for the kid’s movies, and a brothel for the adult films. We also had some really awesome bosses in Dale & Lisa Clark and Harold Vosko. I notice that in the left-hand corner of the picture below you can just see a bit of the sports section, which looked like the Thomas & Mack center. God, I miss that job!

I also like VHS tapes because DVDs sort of piss me off. Too much nonsense before you get to the film, and too little control over what button you can press and when. A VHS tape is simple and friendly – put it in, hit play, maybe fast forward through some previews if you’re not in the mood – and you watch your movie.

Just remember – be kind, rewind!

ISSUE FIVE – DANCING TURKEYS

To end on a happy note, here is a video of Jimmy the Turkey dancing from the Kyle The Rooster channel. Stay strong folks, and try to keep that glint in your eye and grin on your kisser.

More game related fun coming soon!

A Quick Dispatch from the Pandemic

/ jstater / 3 Comments

Howdy folks – just a quick note today, since I’ve been pretty busy setting up work-from-home and not thinking a bunch about gaming stuff.

My wife and I did a jaunt to the nearby Sprouts grocery store to pick up a few things, and boy was it a normal, boring shopping trip. The place wasn’t super crowded, but there were plenty of shoppers, and everybody was calm. There were a few shelves picked over – mostly of staples and at the meat counter – but we got what were were after without too much trouble. If you’re having trouble finding things at the larger chains, you might check out smaller chains or shops, assuming they’re open.

Folks were eating at the Sonic (in their cars – they had removed the outdoor seating) when we went through the drive-thru for some fountain Cokes, and the roads weren’t empty. Looks like people in Vegas are getting through this pretty well. Now, during the week I’ve been driving into my office to get things done – most of the people who work near me are working from home (you didn’t have to ask them twice), so I’m pretty much all by my lonesome there. As a confirmed introvert, I’ve been training for this situation my entire life!

The morning commute to work has been reminiscent of what it was like 20 years ago. I have worked for the same company in the same general place for 25 years, so I have a basis for comparison on such things. Since the resorts on the Strip are shut down for the moment, and visitation is at a minimum, the central core of the city is pretty quiet. It’s weird, but not super-weird – it looked pretty similar the week or so after the 9-11 terrorist attack.

I hope this little missive finds people safe, reasonably happy, and not panicking. Spend some time with your family – we had a rousing game of Dungeon! the other night, which I lost pretty soundly. I recently found an intact copy of the one I used to own – love those graphics so dang much – and I’m really looking forward to the similar game being produced by Sean Aaberg in his Dungeon Degenerates line. My daughter is spending some of her lost Spring Break (she and her friends were going to go to Disneyland – her first trip like that without the parents) sewing on of his weird patches on my denim jacket. Actually a good patch for the times:

We’re doing some comfort-viewing of TV shows and movies we like (and what would the world do without cute/funny animal videos right now?), getting some reading done (just finished Farewell, My Lovely by Raymond Chandler and Planet Narnia: The Seven Heavens in the Imagination of C.S. Lewis by Michael Ward – both good books), and I’m still working on my own projects. Now’s a good time to renew ties with friends and family, and if there’s a brick-and-mortar store or restaurant that you dig, but cannot visit, think about getting a gift card from for a later date. A good measure of a person or a people is how they behave in tough times, so be kind, supportive and generally groovy to one another, folks, and we’ll hopefully emerge on the other side relatively intact!

I’ll leave folks with a bad movie that would have been better if you had replaced all the “real” people with characters from Robert E Howard’s Conan stories. Ann Blythe sure was pretty – such an interesting face.

For something quite different, maybe you’ll enjoy Peter Cushing as Sherlock Holmes.

FIGHT ON!

How to Herc – An Illustrated Guide to Demigodery

/ jstater / 5 Comments

Every day, hundreds of people (or none) email me asking how they can be more like Hercules. They also ask for my social security number, so it may be an elaborate internet scam, but in case it isn’t, I present this guide.

If your fighter or barbarian character checks off everything on this list, when they die they will ascend to Mount Olympus and become a god. Any player at the table who plays a cleric will have to convert to your new religion, which obviously means they have to adopt your dead character’s alignment and they lose access to spells if they don’t fetch drinks and chips for you.

Kirk Morris as Hercules and Illoosh Khoshabe as Samson

Throw a Mega-Punch

At least once in his life, a real Hercules must throw a mega-punch. Here’s how:

1. When making an attack, declare it’s a mega-punch

2. Roll a d20, d12 and d10, adding your Str bonus and attack bonus to each dice

If all three rolls best your opponent’s AC, you reduce the target to 1d6 hit points and knock them out for an hour – yep, even if its Gandalf or Cthulhu

If two hit, you score normal punching damage, and are banned from mega-punching again until you gain a new level. We’re all a little disappointed in you.

If one hits, you swing wildly and miss. Any ally within fist range, though, must pass a saving throw or get clocked by you, suffering normal damage. If this occurs in a bar, your friend now has to get up and punch a stranger, and so on.

If none hit, you lose one level due to embarrassment and divine punishment. This lost level returns after you defeat something awesome in battle – without help Poindexter!

Reg Park as Hercules

Swear an Oath to the Gods

When bad shit happens to good people, look to the heavens and cry, “By the power of Zeus I will avenge you!”

Then do it.

Earn double XP, and operate under a bless spell during your next adventure.

 Dear God, It’s Me, Hercules

A variation on the above. Whenever you screw up something you shouldn’t have, look to the sky and ask “Why have you forsaken me?”

There is a 1% chance, +1% per person at the table who laughed or snickered at your failure, that the head of the pantheon appears and tells you, and then gives you a quest to fulfill.

What’s the upside? There is none. But being Hercules ain’t all cheese and crackers, you know.

Gordon Scott as Hercules

Wrestle With Something Way Out of Your Class

If you’re medium, it should be huge. You can warm up on something large, but eventually you need to step it up to huge. And I mean wrestle – not attack with sword. Grab it. Pin it. Choke it out.

Dan Vadis as Hercules

Ruin Architecture

If the world provides you with two pillars within arms reach of one another, you damn well better knock them down.

“But wait,” you cry, “I can’t do that with even an 18/00 strength!”

Then I guess you can’t be a god.

Steve Reeves as Hercules

Kill Someone with Chains

And not just any chains. The chains with which they bound you. Break out of the chains, then pick them up, and then start cutting down bastards like you’re harvesting grain.

Heavy chains do 1d6 damage and add 5′ to your reach. When attacking anyone who was involved in binding you, you score double damage.

Mark Forest as Hercules

Lead and Army in Skirts

No armor, just grim determination and skirts so short they would make a nun blush. Bonus if the army is Inca. You know, because of mythology and such.

Smack Around Some Moon Men

They may look like earth elementals, but trust me, they’re Moon Men and they have it coming.

Note – unless you’re lucky and they’re on Earth plotting to resurrect their queen by draining the life from a human woman, you’ll have to go to the Moon to fight them.

Mark Forest as Hercules

Choke a Thick Snake

Proudly, and announce that you’re choking a thick snake. Repeatedly. And talk about how your hands are tired afterward.

Don’t worry – each person at the table that snickers only adds to your glory. It’s called confidence, and there’s nothing manlier than that.

Sylvia Lopez as Omphale

Dally with an Evil Queen

She needs to be scary-hot. And evil.

Doing it while under a spell counts.

Changing her alignment counts for more.

Nigel Green as Hercules (one of my favorites)

Endanger The Party with Your Antics

Like, maybe by awakening Talos by stealing treasure you were specifically told not to steal.

Of course, you also have to save the day, or die trying.

Reg Park as Ursus

Two For One

Kill two men-at-arms by throwing one at the other. Extra points for a trick shot.

Fight Moloch

Or a guy dressed up as Moloch.

Okay – I just included this one because I thought the guy looked cool.

Steve Reeves as Hercules

Row a Galley

Bonus points if the captain can water ski behind it.

AND FINALLY …

Learn to laugh at life!

Five Years and 400 Followers Later …

/ jstater / 11 Comments
Image found HERE

Five years (and a few days) ago, I decided to start a blog. My first blog post went a little something like this …

“The Land of Nod is an old school rpg campaign I’ve been running for the past few years, initially using the 3rd edition of D&D, and then moving to the Castles & Crusades system and finally to something between Castles & Crusades and the excellent Swords & Wizardry clone of the original D&D rules. It seems as I get older, I look for ways to simplify my life – less static and more living.

The Land of Nod is my attempt at making a setting that allows players and referees to get down to the business of playing games. It doesn’t have a grand, thousand page history to memorize, or abundant restrictions on what you can play and how. It is a grand sandbox with all the requisites for the heroic adventures that have driven people’s imaginations for decades. Most importantly, it is a collection of places to see and things to do.

Over the coming months (and years?), this blog will serve as a place I can present my little imaginary world, and maybe a few notions that other role-players will find useful. So, consider this my entry into the Old School Renaissance.”

I was in the Swords & Wizardry camp back then (blessed be the name of Matthew J. Finch).

My plan at the time was to write hex crawls and other Land of Nod-oriented things and post them on the blog. About a month into it, I decided that hex crawl stuff was going to be tough for people to use if it was on a blog, so I thought about doing a quick Word document each month to collect that month’s material in one place. Then I thought … why not a PDF? Then I thought … why not publish it?

So, not long after the blog started, the NOD magazine started, with 25 issues now completed. In between, I also wrote a few games (Pars Fortuna, Mystery Men!, Space Princess, Blood & Treasure, Bloody Basic, Greatsword), had a chance to work with Frog God Games (I’d like to do more of that), and I’m working on getting another game, Grit & Vigor, published. Pretty sweet.

If this sounds like something you want to do, do it. It will probably not get much easier than it is now to write and publish your own material, provided you are willing to put in the time and effort.

I usually miss these anniversaries, but today I noticed that I finally hit 400 followers, so I figured I’d take note of this one. I want to thank all my readers over the years, especially the ones who have encouraged me with kind words and the ones who have actually forked over their cold, hard cash for something I’ve written, for supporting me. My plan is still to write up the entire Land of Nod in hex crawl form. If I live long enough, I think I can get it done!

In other news …

ITEM: MOTHER GOOSE IS MY TREASURE KEEPER

I’m almost finished with my Mother Goose edition of Bloody Basic. Just finishing up some layout and editing and putting on the finishing touches to the text. This weekend is going to be busy (Viva Las Vegas show and Easter), but if I find a few spare moments I’ll get the PDF version up for sale.

The Chaos edition is probably next … though I might veer into the Jules Verne-esque Victoriana edition. Don’t know yet.

ITEM: HEY LADIES

It occurred to me today that it might be fun to do a Bloody Basic edition illustrated by women. It could put a light female spin to the game classes (maybe amazon instead of fighter, or amazon and oracle as sub-classes). The question – how to do it without involving stereotypes one way or the other – just good old fashioned fantasy role playing with art involving female characters by female artists. To women out there reading this blog, I’d love to hear from you if this sounds interesting to you. I’ve been perusing some of my favorite women artists on DeviantArt to approach for commissions, but suggestions from the assembled Nodians are always appreciated.

ITEM: NOD 25 IN PRINT

Yep, got NOD 25 up for sale in print today. Check it out if that sort of thing floats your boat.

ITEM: SCOTTISH GLOSSARY

Saw a glossary from an old book of Scottish fairy tales today. A few excerpts:

Baudrons: Scotch name for a cat

Ben: A mountain peak

Bonnet-piece: An old Scottish coin

Cantrip: A freak, or wilful piece of trickery

Clout: A blow

Cutty-pipe: A short clay pipe

Eldritch: Weird

Emprise: An enterprise

Gled: A hawk

Gloaming: The twilight

Louping-on-stane: A stone from which to mount a horse

Unchancy: Uncanny

Wight: A person

Unicorns: Ancient Scottish coins

Also this:

“Finlay the hunter lived with his sister in a lonely little house among the mountains, and near at hand there were giants who were descendants of Beira. This giant clan was ruled over by a hag-queen who was very old and fierce and cunning. She had great stores of silver and gold in her cave, and also a gold-hilted magic sword and a magic wand. When she struck a stone pillar with this wand it became a warrior, and if she put the gold-hilted sword into his hand, the greatest and strongest hero in the world would be unable to combat against him with success.”

Killer magic item, that wand.

More Fantasy Football

/ jstater / 5 Comments

I was writing a NOD article today laying down some rules for pen-and-paper football, and decided to make a few sample teams for the article. I thought it would be fun to design the logos using the Coat of Arms Design Studio from Inkwell Ideas (highly recommended!). As I was working on it, I realized I could probably do fantasy versions of most of the teams in the NFL, and so …

I think I was pretty close with most of them. I had to get creative with a few – a horn for the Vikings, a Pegasus for the Jets and a centaur for the Giants. I used a griffon for the Seahawks just for fun, and a few I had to just use a helm and the team colors. I think the Dolphins is my favorite.

Just a bit of fun this morning. I’m almost done writing the next hex crawl, the football article is about halfway finished, and then a few more articles and some art to commission and NOD 25 is ready to roll!

Crunching the Literary Numbers

/ jstater / 1 Comment

I just recently found out about Google’s Ngram Viewer. This neat little gadget allows you to search within the books on Google Books, from 1820 to 2000, for words or phrases. It then graphs the percentage of books from these different years where the word or phrase shows up.

Let’s see what we can find.

Warriors hit their heyday in 1851, but have been making a comeback since about 1978. Hmmm – what else happened around 1978. Wizards were never as popular as warriors, but they started an upswing in 1991, pre-Harry Potter even!

Speaking of the grand old game …

Well, perhaps 1975. Makes me wonder about the miniscule references to the phrase “Dungeons & Dragons” in the 1940’s and 1960’s. A few of the mentions appear in the following tomes:

Boy’s Life, 1980 – an advertisement

Freshman Register – Mark Lloyd Coleman represents!

InfoWorld, 1979 – Chamelion releases a solo dungeon adventure!

How about monsters?

The traditional dragon remains more popular than the vampire, but the vamps are gaining ground.

And those damn zombies …

… relentless, as always.

As for my own baby …

… things are looking up!

Have fun, kids!

18 Strength! – A Goofy Google Experiment

/ jstater / 19 Comments

I’m laid up with a sore foot at the moment and trying to get some work done on NOD 17, which is due out this month (God willing), and needed a break. Checked email, Lulu.com (2 sales today – yippee!) and a few other sites and was still bored. What to do? Google image sort, of course. I started with “most beautiful woman in the world”, just wondering what would come up, and then thought – “hey, could be an interesting experiment to see, via Google, what people with 18’s in their ability scores would look like. Here’s what I found:

STRENGTH 18 – “Strongest woman in the world”

 

Now, the list below tends to be male dominated – don’t blame me, blame the internet community. So, for strength I decided to specifically search for the strongest woman in the world, and found Becca Swanson (no relation to Ron, as far as I know). Why don’t we get more women like this in fantasy games? I don’t know – but we really should.

INTELLIGENCE 18 – “Smartest person in the world”

 

The smartest person in the world is an easy search, but a tough choice, as there are many claimants to the throne, some of whom draw a very sharp distinction between “intelligence” and “wisdom” (see below for more on that) – the smartest man in the world who thinks eugenics is a great idea in particular. In the end, I had to go with Hawking.

WISDOM 18 – “Wisest person in the world”

 

Ah yes, wisdom. A tough stat, originally designed to govern how good one was at being a cleric and later expanded into “that stat kinda like intelligence, only not intelligence”.  When I searched for “wisest” on Google, I mostly got “smartest”, except for the gentleman pictured above. Apparently, humanity has gone through a real dry spell in terms of wisdom for the last few thousand years.

DEXTERITY 18 – “Greatest archer in the world”

 

Anybody who has put any thought into the dexterity stat knows that it is highly problematic, as it encompasses quickness of action, aim, how steady one’s hands are and how nimble one’s fingers are. A search for “most dextrous” yielded nothing (we geeks have larger vocabularies than many of our fellow human beings, thanks to Uncle Gary). Quickest went to Usain Bolt, but of course one’s dexterity score has nothing to do with one’s movement rate in D&D. “Most agile” got me a monkey. But, since D&D is about killing things and taking their stuff, I decided on “greatest archer in the world”, and according to the Denver Post, that’s Brady Ellison.

CONSTITUTION 18 – “Toughest person in the world”

 

If Minnesota Monthly can be believed, this gentleman, Pierre Ostor (last name would make a good D&D name) is the toughest man alive.

CHARISMA 18 – “Most beautiful person in the world”

 

Gawker asks if this is the most beautiful woman in the world – and I reply “I dunno”. Science says she is, but science once thought forced sterilization was a good idea, and that you could determine a person’s intelligence by measuring their skulls. Still, she looks pretty good to me.

The Other Guy Who Says ‘Ho Ho Ho’ [Monster]

/ jstater / 4 Comments

Be honest, wouldn’t you like to see this guy …

fighting a horde of these guys …

Green Giant
Huge Giant, Lawful (NG), Average Intelligence; Solitary

Hit Dice: 13
Armor Class: 17
Attacks: 2 slams (1d10)
Saves: Fort 4, Ref 9, Will 9
Movement: 40
XP: 1,300 (CL 14)

Green giants dwell in lush, fertile areas, being the sons of fertility goddesses and therefore interested in agriculture. They tend to “adopt” farming regions, providing a service for the farmers in the area in the form of keeping invaders and pests out, and in return expecting tribute and worship for their divine mothers.

Once per day, they can unleash a mighty laugh that gladdens the hearts of farmers and honest folk (per the good hope spell) and strikes fear into the hearts of despoilers and wicked folk (per the cause fear spells). The range of this laugh is 6 miles.

Spells: At will–create water, purify food and drink, entangle, speak with plants; 3/day–goodberry, plant growth, repel vermin; 1/day-command plants, commune with nature.

Special Qualities: Magic resistance 50% vs. druid spells

Friday Grab Bag + Chance to Win FREE PDF (OMG)!!!

/ jstater / 18 Comments

Haven’t done a grab bag in a while, and I stumbled upon a few things this morning that were worth it …

ITEM: MESSAGE BOARDS

Still looking into setting up message boards. I’m a born penny-pincher, so making the leap into paying for monthly hosting is a tough one for me. Stay tuned. In the meantime, feel free to leave comments on the pages.

ITEM: EMPRESS OF THE OCEAN

If you’re running a game set in this time period, and you don’t make use of this, you might in fact suck. Via Retronaut.

ITEM: HOT KNOWS NO CENTURY

Louise Brooks. Just needed to post this.

Oh, and if they’d done John Carter in the 1920’s, she’s your Deja Thoris.

ITEM: THINKING ABOUT BUYING A GREEN VEHICLE

T-tops was always my favorite (and yes, it was to a dinosaur, and they’re called brontosaurus not apatosaurus and Pluto’s a planet and scientists can just bite me). Via LaughingSquid

Here it is in action …

ITEM: REAL ADVENTURERS

They look like this. I know he didn’t, but Fridtjof Nansen looks like he could go toe-to-toe with a remorhaz. Via Retronaut.

ITEM: CoC FODDER

There’s a game here … Cultist who travels in powerful circles decides to build a new tower of Babel in London, SAN checks follow. Via Retronaut.

ITEM: LAND OF NOD GAME TIME

First person to identify all the mistakes in the picture above wins a free PDF of their choice of something I’ve published. Once I identify the winner and call them out, they’ll need to email me so I can email them the link and password. Via Retronaut (oh, and the artist’s inability to draw worth a shit does not count as a mistake)

Thanks for hanging with me this week – have fun on the internet!

300!

/ jstater

Okay folks – 300 followers – enough to hold off a Persian invasion!

Assuming our body oil holds out.

Thanks to Gonzalo Barreda, #300, and to the other 299 of you honorary Nodians for making me feel appreciated day in and day out. Now, back to editing NOD 15 and Blood & Treasure and writing NOD 16 – idle hands are the devil’s playthings.