Monsters

Let’s Get Grimm … Nursery Rhyme Monsters III

/ jstater

Yeah, I know, this is taking forever. What can I say?

—

Nixie: Nixies dwell in the rivers and streams of Fairyland, and are more apt to be seductive and cruel than playful and kind. They are aligned with Hearts, and are wicked 75% of the time.

Ogre: Ogres in Fairyland come in two varieties, the traditional man-eating lout who carries a club and takes great delight in frightening people with their fangs, and the spellcasting ogre mages who cultivate a veneer of civilization (though they remain just as thoroughly wicked and hungry for human beings), like the one who appears in Puss-in-Boots. Either way, they conform to the ogre and ogre mage stats in traditional D&D. Ogres are aligned with Clubs (wicked) and ogre mages with Diamonds (wicked).

Pixie: Pixies (or sprites) are the most numerous of the fairy folk. They dwell in meadows and glades and disguise their villages with cunning illusions. Many become attendants of fairy knights.

Rat Swarm: We all remember the tale of the Pied Piper, and thus know that great swarms of rats have a definite place in Fairyland. Many fairy tales were born during the plague years of Europe, and thus rat swarms in Fairyland always carry that disease with their bite.

Rat Swarm: HD 4; AC 5; Atk 1; Dmg 1d6 + save vs. disease; Move 150; Save as Ftr 4

Red Bull: Red bulls are two-headed, fire-breathing bulls that can be treated as chimeras without the wings, sans the dragon and lion bite attacks, but with two butt/gore attacks. They are aligned with Clubs (wicked)

Revenant: Zombies in MG&G are called revenants. They differ from traditional D&D zombies by retaining their intelligence and memories (and alignment), though they are always twisted and wicked in their dealings with the living. It is not uncommon to find them traveling with their coffins upon their backs.

Robber: Robbers are the bandits of MG&G, and conform to the stats for bandits or brigands. They may form small gangs (3d6 individuals) who waylay travelers through woodlands, or they might form larger bodies (up to 40!) who have their lairs in secret caves and attack entire villages for the purpose of plunder.

Roc: The mighty roc makes an appearance now and again in Fairyland, swooping in from balmy seas beyond the mountains of Jinnistan on its way to visit the east wind. They are aligned with nothing and nobody.

Satyr: Satyrs in MG&G are the same as in D&D, save they are a bit hornier and more frightening. Satyrs are aligned with Hearts, and though not completely wicked, they definitely push the boundaries of polite behavior and have significant difficulties in restraining themselves around females (save vs. spells).

Sorcerer: Sorcerers are men who practice the magical arts, and are thus capable of casting spells as fairy godmothers (roll level on 2d4). Sorcerers may be aligned with any of the factions, but 5 in 6 are thoroughly wicked and corrupt due to their willingness to deal with demons. 1 in 6 sorcerers is a white magician.

Sphinx: Sphinxes are not common in Fairyland, but they do exist. All sphinxes in Fairyland are gynosphinxes, and they are typically aligned with Clubs (wicked), as they enjoy throttling travelers who cannot answer their riddles.

Treant: The treants of Fairyland are pretty similar to those of traditional D&D, save they are usually incapable of moving around. A treant that isn’t talking is only recognized as a treant on a roll of 1 on 1d6 (or 1-3 on 1d6 for dwarves and fairy knights and other fairy folk). Treants do not get on well with woodsmen. Treants are often aligned with Hearts, but some trees are aligned with Clubs.

Troll: Trolls adhere to the same rules as in traditional D&D, with the exception that some of them turn to stone in the light of the sun (either permanently, or only until nightfall). All trolls must save vs. spells or run in terror when they hear the peeling of church bells.

Wicked Witch: Hags in MG&G are known as wicked witches. They are not, of course, old misunderstood women, but evil fairies who seek out the helpless and innocent to consume. Just use the various hag stats in D&D, but give them the ability to cast spells as fairy godmothers. Wicked witches are aligned with Clubs (wicked).

More Blood and Treasure Monster Previews – With Art!!!

/ jstater / 2 Comments

I thought I’d show a few more of the monster stats from B&T. The project is dangerously close to being finished! It’s also a chance to show off some of the art I’ve commissioned for the project from Jon Kaufman. Check it out, ladies and gents.

BAT MONSTER
Large Monstrous Humanoid, Chaotic (CE), Low Intelligence; Solitary

HD: 8
AC: 13
ATK: 2 claws (1d6), bite (2d8)
MV: 10 (Fly 50)
SV: F 10, R 9, W 10
XP: 800 (CL 9)

These creatures look like large, furry humanoids with bat wings that end in clawed hands and bat heads. They are twice the size of a man, with a 12 to 15 foot wingspan. Fearful peasants might even mistake them for small dragons when they fly by night. They can attack without penalty even when they have been blinded.

Special Qualities: Echolocation, vulnerable to sonic damage

DEMON – MARILITH (CLASS V)
Large Outsider, Chaotic (CE), High Intelligence; Solitary or Pair

HD: 8
AC: 24 [+2]
ATK: 6 swords (2d10), tail (4d6 + constrict)
MV: 40
SV: F 8, R 9, W 8
XP: 2,000 (CL 10)

Mariliths are six armed female demons with the lower body of a snake. In each hand they wield a longsword and they adorn themselves with jewelry. A marilith is 9 feet tall and measures 20 feet from head to tail. They weigh 2 tons.

Though mariliths thrive on the grand strategy of war, they love physical combat and never pass up an opportunity to fight. Each of a marilith’s six arms can wield a weapon. There is a 5% chance per arm that it wields a random magic sword). Mariliths seldom rush headlong into battle, preferring to hang back and size up the situation first. They always seek to gain the best possible advantage from the terrain, obstacles and any weakness in their opponents.
A marilith can attempt to summon another of its kind once per day, with a 20% chance of success.

Special Qualities: Immune to electricity and poison, magic resistance 40%

Spells: At will—blade barrier, detect invisibility, magic weapon, project image, telekinesis, teleport without error (self plus 50 lb), unholy aura

LOCATHAH (FISH MEN)
Medium Humanoid, Neutral (N), Average Intelligence; Patrol (1d20)

HD 2
AC 14
ATK Spear (1d6) or light crossbow (80 ft., 1d8)
MV 10 (Swim 60)
SV F 12, R 15, W 15
XP 100 (CL 2)

Locathah are humanoid in shape, but have the scaled skin of fish and the heads of fish. The average locathah stands 5 feet tall and weighs 175 pounds. Females and males look very much alike, although the former can be recognized by the two ochre stripes marking their egg sacs. Locathahs speak their own language. Locathahs lack teeth, claws, and other natural weapons, so they are not especially dangerous if unarmed.

Locathah gather in tribes of 1d10 x 10 warriors and non-warriors equal to 100% of the warriors. They are ruled by chiefs and sub-chiefs, and typically live a hunter-gatherer existence with supplementary kelp gardening and fish herding. For every ten warrior in a tribe, there is a 3% chance that the tribe has an adept to provide spellcasting.

Locathah units in mass combat are as likely to be defending their tribal lands as they are to be mercenary units. Locathah squadrons are led by sub-chiefs with 3 HD. Locathah tribes are led by chiefs with 1d4+6 HD. If you wish, roll d% to randomly determine the type of locathah units present. Chiefs are always accompanied by a squadron of armored crab-warriors.

D% UNIT
01-10 Squid-Warriors: Dagger (1d4), net (entangle)
11-75 Shark-Warriors: Spear (1d6), light crossbow (1d8), 20 bolts
76-00 Crab-Warriors: Trident (1d8), shellycoat* and shield (+3 AC)

* Shellycoat armor is manufactured by several undersea folks, and consists of a hundreds of shells woven onto a backing of shagreen in the manner of scale mail. Shellycoat increases AC by 1 point.

Let’s Get Grimm … Nursery Rhyme Monsters II

/ jstater

Sorry for the delay in getting this baby out – work has been crazy busy for the past couple weeks (in a good way, but tiring nonetheless).

Fairy: Fairy is, of course, a blanket term for all the fair folk (including sprites, brownies, leprechauns, goblins, etc.), but for us, it refers to the beautiful, elfin women of fairy tales. Fairies conform to the stats for nymphs, but gain the ability to fly with gossamer wings, and the ability to cast magic spells as a fairy godmother. Among the more famous of fairies is the Fairy with Turquoise Hair (who serves the court of Hearts), Morgan Le Fey (who serves the court of Spades) and Titania (who serves the court of Diamonds).

Ghost: Ghosts are thick in fairy tales, and can be modeled after the incorporeal undead of D&D, such as the wraith and spectre. They need not be wicked, of course, nor intent on draining energy, though they oft times find mischief irresistible.

Giant Animals: Though not all animals in fairy tales are giant (in fact, few are), giant animals still make excellent monsters in fairy tale games. Naturally, they are all at least dimly intelligent and capable of speech. Giant eagles, goats, owls, snakes and spiders all play their part in a game of Mother Goose & Goblins.

Giants: The most appropriate races of giants for fairy tale gaming are, of course, the infamous cloud giant (sniffer of the blood of Englishmen) and the loutish hill giant. Some fairy tale hill giants can grow exceptionally large (although they are rarely seen), and can, to keep things simple, be referred to as mountain giants (double or triple the size and hit dice of a hill giant, add one dice of damage for double-sized giants and two for triple-sized giants. Cloud giants are not especially brilliant, but they are all magic-users of some renown, but hill and mountain giants are utter dopes.

A variation on the hill giant is the green giant, who has extraordinary intelligence and wondrous powers of illusion. These fellows dress in the manner of knights, and enjoy sending princes on quests.

The ettin, more commonly referred to as a two-headed giant, is also a frequent visitor to Fairyland, as is his cousin, the three-headed giant (+1 HD).

Giants usually serve the court of clubs (evil).

Goblin: Goblins are as thick as flies on the borders of Fairyland, and loom large in many legends. As in D&D, they are ne’er-do-wells who delight in torment and trouble, and generally conform to the normal rules for goblins (or even kobolds). When encountered in their lair, there is a 1 in 20 chance that adventurers will have stumbled upon a goblin market, where fey of all stripes trade wondrous goods and might even trade with the adventurers, if they dare. Goblins either serve the court of clubs (evil) or diamonds (evil).

Griffon: Griffons reside in the mountains of Fairyland, preening their feathers and grooming their tawny fur in the sun. They are creatures of terrible nobility, and are not to be trifled with by inexperienced adventurers. The greatest princes might make them their mounts, if they can be subdued (per the rule for dragons). Griffons serve the court of diamonds, and are always prideful.

Hobyah: Hobyahs are just hobgoblins by another name – and might also be called hobs. They are not always as wicked as their counterparts in D&D, and some serve in the manors of less savory princes as foresters and rat catchers. They have warty hides, bulbous noses and grim expressions. Hobyahs serve the court of spades.

Hydra: The hydra, or three-/five-/or seven-headed dragon as it is more often labeled, appears in a few fairy tales, filling the same basic role as the dragon. Pyrohydras are not uncommon in Fairyland. Hydras, like dragons, serve the court of diamonds (evil).

Leprechaun: Leprechauns are fairy cobblers, and members of the fey proletariat, as it were. As in popular myth, they hide their gold in pots that can only be found by following rainbows, but those who steal a leprechaun treasure will find themselves hunted for all their days by the vengeful fey and their kin. Unfortunately, 1 in 20 pots of gold actually contains brightly dyed foodstuffs. Leprechauns can be found in the AD&D Monster Manual, but might also be modeled after halfling who must grant three wishes to those who catch them. If this be used, allow the leprechaun to roll their initiative on 2d4, and double their movement rate. Leprechauns serve the court of spades.

Merchant: Human merchants loom large in many fairy tales, and can be modeled after the trader of D&D or the merchants of AD&D. They are usually encountered with a wagon of goods, or with a pack mule, and often have a beautiful and innocent daughter they’ve left at home with her stepmother. Merchants can sometimes (1 in 6) speak the language of the fey, as such merchants have had truck with those folk, and know some of their secrets. Merchants serve the court of diamonds.

Dragon by Dragon – June 1977 (7)

/ jstater

Happy birthday The Dragon! June 1977 marked the beginning of the second year of the magazine’s publication. Kask starts off by bragging on the improvement in the art and the 300% growth in circulation in a year (which could mean they went from selling 1 copy a month to selling 3 … but I think they were doing better than that). Kask goes on to say that, despite the increase in readership and the magazine now being published 8 times a year (they had NOD beat – 6 is almost more than I can manage), he remains the only staff member. He gives thanks to the help provided by Gary Jaquet, but explains that he can only do so much because he lives 4 HOURS away. Boy, have things changed for the better. The editor for Blood & Treasure lives across the continent from me, and he might as well be in the next room.

The other big announcement from Kask …  PUBLICATION BY THE DRAGON DOES NOT BESTOW ANY SANCTION OR APPROVAL TO ANY VARIANTS, VARIATIONS OR RULES INTERPRETATION.

Anyhow … what has the birthday boy in store for us today?

First up, we see an advert for the Third Annual SC Awards for Creativity in Wargaming. Some of the things that didn’t make the ballot include Bunnies and Burrows (for best game) and Jim Dunnigan (for design of Russian Civil War … you might want to check out his Strategy Page site for information on everything going on in the world of conflict). Lankhmar and Metamorphosis Alpha were up for Outstanding Game of 1976, Gygax’s Swords & Spells was up for Outstanding Miniatures Rules of 1976 and Grenadier’s wonderfully named Wizzards & Warriors was up for Outstanding Miniatures Series of 1976. They also list a Fantasy Gaming Hall of Fame, which includes Lord Dunsanay, C.S. Lewis, A. Merritt, Fletcher Pratt, Clark Ashton Smith, Poul Anderson, M.A.R. Barker, Lin Carter, L. Sprague DeCamp, Gardner Fox, Katherine Kurtz, Fritz Leiber, Michael Moorcock, Andre Norton, Jack Vance and Roger Zelazny – and I just cannot argue with such a list. Spot on for 1977.

Omar Kwalish (didn’t he invent some sort of apparatus?) presents tips on what to do when “… Calamity Befalls You Twenty Minutes Before the Game Club Gets To your Place”. In essence, the article shows how you can generate percentages with two standard D6, and other ways of dealing with being without dice – chits in a jar, random numbers generated on high-tech calculators (such as the TI-SR51-A), cutting cards (roll 1d4 with the suits, etc.), using a watch with a second hand, spinners, coin flips (an obscure study financed by government grant proved that the dime was the ideal coin to flip), phonebook and blindfold, etc.

Gary Gygax uses the Designer’s Forum to tell of the origins of the game, in which he writes, “Although D&D was not Dave’s game system by any form or measure, he was given co-billing as author for his valuable idea kernels.” Let the lawsuits begin.

Lynn Harpold describes Mystery Hill, America’s Stonehenge. A very ’70s article, if you remember that time period, and things like In Search Of.

One of Ral Partha’s new releases is “Foregum” Super Hero (Bare-Chested) – no picture, but he is now my favorite miniature of all time. Luckily, I found an image …

And a copy of Ral Partha’s 1981 Catalog. CHECK IT.

Great illustration by Morno on page 11, to go with his story The Journey Most Alone. Again – new rule of Dragon by Dragon is to post a random paragraph from the story, so …

“There he paused in wonder.”

Okay, that was a bit cheap, how about the next paragraph as well …

“Before him he saw the vistas of a wide universe from the height of a splendid cliff. Awaiting him was a massive throne of silver and of tortoiseshell, metalwork twining like vinery around the dark surfaces of the seat. Leaf and stem of silver entwined in ecstatic embrace, and here, upon the highlights, and there, among the shadows, gleamed jet and onyx, lapis and obsidian, nested like gleaming grapes in beds of many other stones. From this pinnacle Visaque beheld the five extremities of his cosmos and the many marvels therein; beheld amber castles and perilous beasts, paradise and power to his world’s edge. At the foot of the throne knelt spirits of the four elements and one awaiting his ascension. Tiny heralds on elven birds trumpeted a fanfare at his coming.”

In the middle of the story there is an ad by FanTac Games in South Orange, NJ for a new game called “Space Marines”. Looks like they beat the Brits to the punch.

I wonder what 464 Lenox Avenue looks like now …

M.A.R. Barker has a new article on Military Formations of the Nations of the Universe, recounting military formations of … well, you get the idea. The universe, in this case, is confined to Tekumel.

I cannot go further without printing the following menu in an ad for the Third Annual Strategists Club Awards Banquet at Playboy Resort …

Honestly, they had me at sardines and onion rings.

The Featured Creature this month is the Prowler. Its B&T stats would be:

Prowler: HD 14; AC 18; Atk Bite (1d8) and constriction (4d12 per turn); MV 30; SV 10; CL/XP 15/1400; SP – Gaze (save vs. magic or mind blanked and become a zombei [sic] under the prowler’s control; can only be restored by having 3 patriarchs cast dispel magic at the same time), inject eggs (with brown tentacles around mouth, injects into zombeis, eggs hatch in 2d4 days and eat the zombei).

Tough monster, and a nice bit of art to go with it.

Fineous Fingers tries to rob a guy from TSR and ends up skewered, while the kid he was training gets a 1,000 gp reward for tipping off his target.

In the Editor’s Library, Metagaming Concepts (makers of Stellar Quest, the first “good, playable space game”) announce their new micro-game … OGRE! I doubt it went anywhere.

Mcewan Miniatures has a sweet little ad for their new figures …

I’d like to think all of those fellows would fit in nicely in a Space Princess game somewhere. Maybe the Terrellians are a species that has built their culture around the worship of this guy …

But that’s just me. (And yeah, that would probably make them Chaotic).

Mystery author Garrison Ernst (just can’t figure out who this guy could be) presents another installment of the Gnome Cache.

“A column of dark smoke announced that they were approaching the castlewick of Blackmoor. It was the morning of an otherwise bright day not long since the slaughter took place on the narrow road to Weal. The two had traveled fast. Several times they had quickly left the lance for the safety of the surrounding wood as a band of Nehronland foot or a rare body of horse passed northwards laden with plunder and marching with much jesting and laughter. Each time Mellerd would salute their passing with various rude gestures, for he daily came to hate all Nehronlanders more passionately as he missed the Kimbri Vardobothet whose death came at their hands. There was now a particularly thorny problem facing them. They could not, of course, proceed directly through the place ahead, for it was obviously swarming with enemy soldiers. To the east was a jumble of broken terrain stretching away for endless leagues towards the sea. Worse, it was the home of many of the various bands of Nehron, so passage through that place would be nearly as dangerous as going straight along the road through Blackmoor. But to the west was a trackless forest which led to the slopes of the Senescent Hills, most inhospitable and the dwelling place of creatures who did not welcome men intruding upon their domain. The trick would be to swing wide enough to bypass the fortress unseen by any of the numerous warriors thereabouts, and then come back onto a route south again. If they went east they would eventually make the road to Rheyton as they circled back. In the other direction they would strike the passage to the free city of Humpbridge which bent from southwest to south across the base of the Senescent range. Dunstan was faced with making a decision from what he remembered of maps and his experiences on the trek which brought them to these straits originally.”

The emphasis is mine. Humpbridge!

And so ends the seventh issue of The Dragon. If I’m honest, the ads were the best part of this issue – pretty weak on game content, and Barker’s article on military formations seemed endless. What I have learned, though, in reading these is that I need to start using multiple pseudonyms when writing NOD. Fake names, anagrams and bad puns are as much a part of the D&D experience as Armor Class and hit points, and I’ve been missing out!

Let’s Get Grimm … Nursery Rhyme Monsters I

/ jstater / 2 Comments

Animals
Just about any animal belongs in a fairy tale world, but some animals are more prominent than others, including bears, foxes, leopards, lions, owls, pussy cats and wolves. Just use the normal stats for these “monsters”.

About 1 in 6 animals is a talking animal. Larger talking animals conform to the normal stats, save they are intelligent and can speak. Smaller talking animals (and some of the larger predators) are more anthropomorphized. Pussy cats are clever and often quite magical (spells as a 1st to 4th level magic-user) and have a knack for the fiddle, bears live in comfortable houses and dine on porridge, foxes are able rogues (as a 1st to 4th level thief), etc

Animated Silverwear

When animals aren’t talking in Fairy Tale Land, dishes and spoons are running away with one another.  One can imagine the surprise of a party when it wanders into an “empty” dining room, only to be set upon by the fine china. Also – note that most animated forks, knives and spoons are made of silver.

Animated Silverwear: HD 0 (1d4 hp); AC 5; Atk 1 slap, poke or stab (1 point of damage); Move 120; Save as 0-level human; Aligned with Clubs; Special: None.

Big Bad Wolf
Big Bad Wolves have a bad reputation in Fairy Tale Land, and a well deserved one. They are a particular menace to little pigs and knaves in red cloaks, but are happy to attack anything they think they can make a meal of.

Big Bad Wolf: HD 4; AC 3; Atk 1 bite (1d6); Move 120; Save as Fighter 4; Aligned with Clubs (Evil); Special: Small creatures who are bitten for max damage must make a save vs. death or be swallowed whole.

Billy Goat Gruff

Billy goats gruff are large specimens of intelligent goat. They are neither wicked nor kind; just don’t attempt to bar their way.

Billy Goat Gruff: HD 3; AC 7; Atk 1 gore (2d6); Move 180; Save as Fighter 3; Aligned with Spades; Special: +4 damage on charge.

Bogeyman
Bogeymen are savage looking humanoids that gather in Bogeyland, but sometimes make incursions into happier places. They often fight with firebrands (1d4 points of damage, save vs. petrification or catch on fire). Bogeymen use the stats for gnolls. Aligned with Clubs (Evil).

Bugaboo
Bugaboos, or bugbears, conform to their normal D&D stats. They look like creepy bears, who lurk in the woods and frighten travelers. Aligned with Clubs (Evil).

Changeling
Changelings are the issue of wicked fairies. When a fairy steals a human child to raise (these children grow up to become fairy knights), they leave a changeling in its place. Changelings are wicked and ill-mannered, and grow up to become spies and assassins. Changelings conform to the stats for doppelgangers. Aligned with Clubs (Evil).

Construct – Gingerbread Man
Gingerbread men are sometimes concocted by wicked witches, and sometimes created accidentally by bakers. They are quick and enjoy taunting others, but sometimes laid low by their over-confidence, and the fact that having a head made of dough doesn’t lend itself to great intelligence.

Gingerbread Man: HD 0 (1d4 hp); AC 4; Atk 1 strike (1d4-1); Move 180; Save as Thief 2; Aligned with Clubs; Special: None.

Construct – Wooden Soldier

Wooden soldiers are built by tinker elves and animated by martial spirits. They look like 6-foot tall soldiers carved of wood and painted in gay colors. Wooden soldiers carry wooden weapons. They are immune to most magic spells, but sticks to snakes cancels their magic immunity for 1d6 rounds. Patrols of wooden soldiers are sometimes led by Nutcracker Princes (8 HD, AC 2, Save as Fighter 8).

Wooden Soldier: HD 2; AC 4; Atk 1 wooden weapon (1d6); Move 120; Save as Fighter 2; Aligned with Spades; Special: Spell immunity, immune to fear and other mind effects.

Devil

Devils are foul creatures from the Netherworld who pop into the Fairy Tale Land to tempt the foolish. They appear either as beautiful temptresses (perhaps with vestigial fangs) or as thin, sophisticated men with red skin, pointed black beards, small horns and a tail that ends with a point. Although they often appear unarmed, a devil can summon a trident to hit or her hand instantly when threatened. They can also unfurl bat wings when they find flight a necessity. Aligned with Spades (Evil).

Devil: HD 6; AC 0; Atk 1 trident (1d8) and tail (1d4 + poison); Move 120 (Fly 240); Save as Cleric 6; Special: Poison tail (save or paralyzed for 4 rounds), teleport (in a puff of sulfurous smoke), only harmed by magic weapons.

Dragon
Dragons in Fairy Tale Land are of the fire breathing variety, though in coloration they are usually green. They have the normal stats for a red dragon, and the normal chance to speak and use magic.

Dwarf, Yellow
The yellow dwarves are cruel tricksters who often fall in love with princesses, doing their utmost to force them into marriage. They are dogged and determined, and never let a slight go unrevenged. Yellow dwarves have sallow skin and stringly, orange-yellow hair. They are usually armed with short swords or hand axes.

Yellow Dwarf: HD 1; AC 6; Atk 1 weapon; Move 90; Save as Dwarf 1; Aligned with Diamonds (Evil); Special: Growth (double in size, fight as 4 HD monster, weapon deals double damage) once per day for 10 rounds or invisibility (once per day).

Three New Undead … Just Because

/ jstater / 4 Comments

These critters popped into my head a few days ago, so I decided to give them some stats. Enjoy …

Necromantic Masterpieces

Necromancers are often frustrated artists, and their desire to outdo their brethren is fierce. While the pedestrian necromancer is content with creating zombies, skeletons, ghouls and the like, the true artist labors on a unique creation and creates a manual to hide away for others to one day find.

DAME SANS MERCI
Medium Undead, Chaotic (NE), Average Intelligence; Solitary (1)

Hit Dice: 5
Armor Class: 15 [4]
Attacks: 2 flailing fists (1d6) or gaze (see below)
Move: 30
Saves: Fort 13, Ref 13, Will 11
XP: 500 (CL 6)

A dame sans merci appears as a feminine skeleton wrapped in tight, black leather (sometimes studded with spikes) that has been padded (to create the curvaceous feminine shape) with a rare form of fungus cultivated by some death cults and wicked alchemists. The skeleton has onyx eyes.

The dame sans merci can focus its withering gaze on any one target within 30 feet. They target must pass a Will saving throw (save vs. magic) or be affected per the spell ray of enfeeblement. Once per day, it can breath a cone (15-ft long and 10-ft wide) of necromantic spores that play on a person’s mind. Roll 1d4 and consult the table below:

1 = Fear
2 = Rage
3 = Confusion
4 = Despair

All within the cone must pass a Fortitude saving throw (or save vs. poison) or be affected by a random mind effect for 2d4 rounds.

AMPUTATOR
Large Undead, Chaotic (CE), Low Intelligence; Gang (1d4)

Hit Dice: 8
Armor Class: 14 [5]
Attacks: 2 pincer (2d4)
Move: 30
Saves: Fort 10, Ref 11, Will 10
XP: 800 (CL 9)

Amputators are made by removing the hands from a dead gorilla and replacing them with large, metal pincers. Most of these gorilla corpses are shaved by the necromancer and covered with tattoos of magical glyphs – needless to say, amputators are rather horrifying.

When an amputator’s pincer attack is a natural ’20’, the target suffers double damage and must pass a Fortitude saving throw (save vs. petrification) or have an arm twisted off. If the target is wearing armor, the armor first makes an item saving throw. If successful, the target’s arm remains attached to their body. If the item saving throw fails, the armor is torn off the arm and the arm is now in danger of being torn off.

FULL-THROATED SCREAMER
Small Undead, Chaotic (CE), Average Intelligence; Solitary (1)

Hit Dice: 6
Armor Class: 16 [3]
Attacks: Slam (1d4 + 1d4 cold) or scream (see below)
Move: Fly 30
Saves: Fort 13, Ref 12, Will 10
XP: 600 (CL 7)

Possibly the oddest of created undead, the full-throated screamer appears as three preserved heads encased in crystal spheres. The heads must have belonged to a fishwife, politician and braggart in life. They float within 5 feet of one another, and can slam into people or, once per day each, issue a terrible scream that affects all within 30 feet. Those within range of the scream must pass a Will saving throw (save vs. magic) or their lowest mental ability score (intelligence, wisdom or charisma) suffers 1d4 points of damage. If this score is reduced to half normal, the victim becomes either a mindless berserker (wisdom; per rage), babbling fool (intelligence; per feeblemind) or mad dancer (charisma; per irresistible dance).

Dragon by Dragon – December 1976 (4)

/ jstater / 3 Comments

The Dragon closed out 1976 with an issue dedicated to The Empire of the Petal Throne – they even added 4 pages to the magazine to handle all the goodness.

Full disclosure … as long as I’ve been playing D&D and learning about it, I still know relatively little about MAR Barker’s baby. I know the basics and the general history, but it’s always seemed like a setting that required immersion to really grok.

The December issue kicks off with what we would now refer to as a campaign log by the man himself, MAR Barker, updating folks on the going’s-on of Tekumel (really a follow-up to a similar article published in the final issue of “The Strategic Review”. I mostly found this one interesting because it serves as a glimpse into another style of campaign play. Early in the aricle, Barker explains the need (or at least desire) to coordinate the various campaigns in Tekumel to avoid “parallel universe” development. Each DM back in the day really WAS his or her campaign. When you played with a DM, you visited his little universe. I think you’ll find a similar sentiment in the FLAILSNAILs concept.

Next up – James M. Ward provides some notes on Androids on the starship Warden. The androids, it seems, play the role of doppelgangers, taking positions of power among the human tribes and keeping them in conflict with the mutants so that the androids are free to continue their drive for power.  I dig that he refers to them as the “chemical men”. I also dig that the “history” of the androids was supplied by “Emaj the fat mutant philosopher as translated by Yra the Wise.” Honestly, if your not making weird plays on your name and inserting them liberally into your campaign, you just ain’t doin’ it Old School.

Steven Klein provides a random encounter table for the foreign quarter of Jakalla, a city of Tekumel. In essence, this isn’t much different from Gary’s city encounter table in the old DMG. Watch out for the priests of the Goddess of the Pale Bone!

MAR Barker now chimes in again with notes on war gaming in Tekumel. Like Gygax and Arneson, Barker was a war gamer, and here he gives a report on the Battle of the Temple of Chanis: 2020 A.S. as a way of introducing people to the military thinking on Tekumel. He introduces the idea of “Little War” battles that are like duel battles and “Great War” battles that involve hundreds and thousands of troops. The idea of battles that mostly revolve around challenges between individuals in the two forces reminds me of stories from Celtic antiquity, and it’s not a bad way to handle some mass battles in your game without having to deal with actual war games. The length of the invented history of this battle (well, probably play report from his game) suggests how immersed people were in the game … it’s a long article to read just to learn about something that never actually handled.

The Creature Feature presents two creatures from Tekumel, the Mihalli and Vriyagga, both getting some nice color art. In S&W terms, they would have the following stats:

Mihalli: HD 3; AC 1 [18]; Atk1 weapon; Move 15; Save 14; CL/XP 5/240; Special: Magic spells, shape-change, magic items.

The Mihalli were non-humans that had subterranean spy facilities that were wiped out with nuclear fission bombs. Only a few now persist. They are hermaphroditic humanoids with skin that ranges from dull green to coppery brown that signify their class – green for lower, coppery brown for upper. They are shape-changers who are sometimes given away (20%) by their opalescent red eyes. All are magic-users and most have magic items, including the wonderfully named Ball of Immediate Eventuation, which can fire energy bolts, create defense shields against non-magical projectiles (I think we call it shield these days), cause their users to become invisible and produce clouds of poisonous gas. They come in various strengths, indicated by their colors.

Vriyagga, Small: HD 10; AC 1 [19]; Atk 4 tentacles (2d6 + constrict) and bite (1d6 + poison); Move 8; Save 5; CL/XP 12/2000; Special: Tentacles up to 10 feet long.

Vriyagga, Medium: HD 15; AC 1 [19]; Atk 4 tentacles (4d6 + constrict) and bite (1d8 + poison); Move 12; Save 3; CL/XP 17/3500; Special: Tentacles up to 20 feet long.

Vriyagga, Large: HD 25; AC 1 [19]; Atk 4 tentacles (6d6 + constrict) and bite (1d10 + poison); Move 15; Save 3; CL/XP 27/6500; Special: Tentacles up to 40 feet long.

These babies are excellent – two giant wheels with knotted muscles around a central spoke, brain pans hanging from that with weird faces from which extend four tentacles covered in suckers and a mouth lined with poisonous, purple feelers. They have ebon eyes that can see in the dark. The tentacles are very tough (AC 2 [17] to sever). Vriyagga enjoy the taste of juicy humans over the pale shrimp-things who they normally dine on.

Gary Jaquet now gives us “Miscellaneous Treasure, Magic, Weapons, Artifacts and Monsters – Additions, Deletions, Omissions, Corrections, Changes, Variations and Otherwise Confusing Alterations” etc.  This is a comedy bit with things like Creeping Crud (resembles cigarette butts, crushed Fritos, spilled Dr. Pepper, sweat from players’ foreheads and referees’ dice rolling arm, pencil shavings and old character cards), dice lice, etc.

Jerry Westergaard presents some fiction – “Roads from Jakalla”. This, along with the other articles by Barker, do a good job of presenting the setting.

Another side bar presents the old “Generals can do X, Colonels can do Y … Privates can do everything” bit, only starting with 22nd level wizards and working down to Referees.

Wargaming World – no author credit – examines the new miniature lines for EPT and D&D. The reproductions of the miniatures are almost impossible to see, so, not much help really.

Page 29 does have an interesting bit – maybe the first appearance of Appendix N. Titled “Fantasy/Swords & Sorcery: Recommended Reading From Gary Gygax”. It goes from Poul Anderson’s Three Hearts and Three Lions to Roger Zelazny’s Jack of Shadows (etal), Lord of Light and Nine Princes of Amber series.

Fineous Fingers gives a nice demonstration of “climbing sheer walls” for thieves.

Page 31 gives the percentile chance for obtaining an “Eye” as treasure in EPT, and the issue then ends with some pictures (boy were they hard to reproduce back in the day) of a scale model of the Temple of Vimuhla.

Not a bad issue if you want to wade into Tekumel and test the waters, and if you can’t find something to do with the Vriyagga, you just aren’t trying.

Amazons, Archons and Azers

/ jstater / 2 Comments

I’m now working my through the monster chapter doing a first pass on editing before it goes to Tanner for a more thorough look, and I decided “Why not preview a few monsters on the blog”. (i.e. I needed a quick and easy post for the day because I’m busy as spit).

I figure this can give folks an idea about the format (different than in earlier previews – a format I liked but just became too difficult to layout effectively and make the info easy for the TK to access during play) and maybe preview a few of the new monsters in the game.

AMAZON
Medium Humanoid, Alignment Varies, Average Intelligence; Company (1d20)

HD: 1 + 1
AC: 16 (chainmail and shield)
ATK: Longsword (1d8+1) or longbow (100 ft., 1d8+1)
MV: 30
SV: F 15, R 13, W 15
XP: 100 (CL 2)

Amazons are humanoid females who are expert warriors. All amazons are uncommonly tall and handsome. They come in three varieties, named after the color of their skin; the blue amazons, green amazons and red amazons. All amazons eschew accepting males into their society, but do require them for mating. Male humans are often taken by them in raids, mated with, and then sent on their way. Boys born onto the island are given to mercenary bands composed of the sons of amazons. These men, who lack the special abilities of their mothers, are called myrmidons. They look like their fathers, but their eye color and personality matches their mother.

Blue amazons are Lawful (LG) and worship the goddess of wisdom and war. Their skin is deep azure and they have hair that shines like silver. They are the wisest of the amazons, and enjoy a magic resistance of 10% and immunity to surprise. Blue amazons fight in close-knit ranks with spears and shields and they wear platemail (AC 19). They are usually led by clerics or paladins.

Green amazons are Neutral (N) and worship the goddess of the hunt. Their skin is jade green and their hair dark, forest green. Green amazons dwell in the woodlands, spending their days hunting. They can survive and track as well as rangers and can attack twice per round with their longbows. They are usually led by druids or rangers.

Red amazons are Chaotic (CE) and worship the goddess of black magic. Their skin is vivid crimson and their hair jet black. Red amazons fight as berserkers, attacking twice per round with their long swords, and they are immune to fear. They are usually led by chaos clerics or warlocks.

Organization: Band of 80 warriors plus 50% non-combatants plus leader of 4th to 7th level (1d4+3).

ARCHON
Archons are celestials that are not unlike angels, but of an inferior class. Archons speak Celestial, Infernal, and Draconic, but can speak with almost any creature using tongues.

A righteous aura surrounds archons that fight or get angry. Any hostile creature within a 20-foot radius of an archon must succeed on a Will save to resist its effects. Those who fail take a –2 penalty on attacks, AC, and saves for 24 hours or until they successfully hit the archon.

Spells: Continuous—magic circle against evil, tongues; At will—teleport

HOUND ARCHON
Medium Outsider, Lawful (LG), Average Intelligence; Pack (1d6)

HD: 6
AC: 19 [+1]
ATK: Bite (1d8) and slam (1d4) or +1 greatsword (2d6) and bite (1d8)
MV: 40
SV: F 10, R 10, W 10; +4 save vs. poison
XP: 3,000 (CL 8)

Hound archons look like well-muscled humans with canine heads. Hound archons prefer to attack with their natural weapons but occasionally use +1 greatswords.

A hound archon can assume any canine form of small to large size. While in canine form, the hound archon loses its bite, slam, and greatsword attacks, but gains the bite attack of the form it chooses.

Once per day, a hound archon can attempt to smite a Chaotic creature, doing double damage if it hits.

Special Qualities: Immune to electricity and petrification, magic resistance 15%

Spells: Continuous—magic circle against evil, tongues; At will—aid, continual flame, detect evil, message, teleport

LANTERN ARCHON
Small Outsider, Lawful (LG), Low Intelligence; Gleam (1d6)

HD: 1
AC: 15 [+1]
ATK: 2 light rays (30 ft., 1d6)
MV: Fly 60
SV: F 14, R 12, W 14; +4 save vs. poison
XP: 250 (CL 3)

Lantern archons appear as floating balls of light that glow about as brightly as a torch. Only their destruction can extinguish the glow, though they can try to hide it. A lantern archon has little reason to get within melee range. It usually hovers just close enough to bring the enemy within its aura of menace and then blasts away with its light rays. Lantern archons prefer to concentrate on a single opponent, seeking to reduce enemy numbers quickly.

Special Qualities: Immune to electricity and petrification

Spells: Continuous—magic circle against evil, tongues; At will— aid, detect evil, continual flame

TRUMPET ARCHON
Medium Outsider, Lawful (LG), High Intelligence; Blast (1d6)

HD: 12
AC: 23 [+1]
ATK: +2 greatsword (3d6)
MV: 40 (Fly 90)
SV: F 7, R 7, W 6; +4 save vs. poison
XP: 3,000 (CL 14)

Trumpet archons are angelic humanoids that carry long, silver trumpets. If forced into an extended battle, the archon sounds its trumpet and attacks with a vengeance. An archon’s trumpet produces music of utter clarity, piercing beauty, and, if the trumpet archon wills it, paralyzing awe. All creatures except archons within 100 feet of the blast must succeed on a Fortitude saving throw or be paralyzed for 1d4 rounds. The archon can also command its trumpet to become a +2 greatsword. If a trumpet is stolen, it becomes a chunk of useless metal until the owner can recover it. Woe betides the thief caught with one.

Special Qualities: Immune to electricity and petrification, magic resistance 30%

Spells: Continuous—magic circle against evil, tongues; At will—detect evil, continual flame, message

AZER
Medium Outsider (Fire), Lawful (LN), Average Intelligence; Squad (1d6)

HD: 2
AC: 21 (Scale, shield)
ATK: Battleaxe (1d8 + 1 fire)
MV: 30
SV: F 12, R 12, W 12
XP: 200 (CL 3)

Azers are dwarf-like beings native to the Elemental Plane of Fire. They wear kilts of brass, bronze, or copper and speak Fire Elemental and Dwarf (50% chance). Although unfriendly and taciturn, azers rarely provoke a fight except to relieve a foe of gems, which they love. Azers wield broad-headed spears or well-crafted hammers. An azer’s body is intensely hot, so its unarmed attacks and metal weapons deal extra fire damage.

Special Qualities: Immune to fire, magic resistance 5%, vulnerable to cold

Organization: Clan of 100 azer plus 50% non-combatants plus 7 HD leader

AZERS AS CHARACTERS
Azer characters modify their starting ability scores as follows: Str +1, Int +1, Cha -2. They have darkvision to a range of 60 and retain the special abilities of normal azer. Azer speak Fire Elemental, and may also speak the other elemental tongues and Celestial, Dwarf and Infernal. Azer can multi-class as cleric/fighters, fighter/magic-users and fighter/ thieves. Whatever their class, they can only advance to a max of 6th level.

Dragon by Dragon – August 1976 (2)

/ jstater

August of 1976 – A month after the bicentennial, and Marvelites were grooving to such titles as Planet of the Apes, The Champions and Black Goliath, the Seattle Seahawks were playing their first game, Big Ben breaks down in London, Viking 2 enters orbit around Mars, the Ramones make their first appearance at CBGB, and The Dragon’s second issue hits the stands. So what did the gaming geek of 1976 get for his money?

—

John M. Seaton devises a procedure for “monkish” promotional combat (i.e. knock off the master to assume his level). I love this kind of thing, and given the recent popularity of FlailSnails Jousting, I wonder if there isn’t a market for FlailSnails Monkish Combat.

The procedure would be similar – write up 6 rounds of combat, denoting your strike, kick, block or other maneuvers, and then we see where it goes.

—
Lots of fiction in this issue.

The second installment of Gygax’s Gnome Cache is in this issue. I’ll freely admit this here – I almost never read the fiction in Dragon. I probably missed out on something.

Speaking of fiction, Jake Jaquet gives us the conclusion to “Search for the Forbidden Chamber”. Didn’t read this either.

Gardner Fox (you might have heard of him) has a short story in this issue called Shadow of a Demon which is covered very capably at Grognardia.

—

Another installment of “Mapping the Dungeons”, wherein DM’s of the 1970’s try to hook up with players via The Dragon. St. Louis appears to have had a surplus of DM’s looking for players – 8 of them in this issue.

Some dude named Paul Jaquays was running the Spring Arbor College Dungeoning Society in Spring Arbor MI. Wonder if he ever amounted to anything.

Through the magic of Google, I found the following DM’s online:

Keith Abbott of Muskegon MI

Michael Dutton of Mountain View CA might have done some art for WOTC – could be a different guy

Bill Fawcett of Schofield WI kinda founded Mayfair Games

Karl Jones – could be this guy?

Drew Neumann – maybe a composer of film and television scores – he was at Wylie E. Groves High School in Detroit at the right time (Class of ’77). Could have known Ellen Sandweiss, who was in Evil Dead. Did music for Aeon Flux

Scott Rosenberg of Jamaica NY – has a couple issues of The Pocket Armenian floating around online.

Ed Whitchurch has achieved some level of DM’ing fame

—

Joe Fischer gives us more tips for D&D Judges. He covers interesting entrances for dungeons (i.e. under stuff you don’t expect them to be under) and “friendly” traps that aren’t necessarily harmful. He also provides a random table for treasure chests that are, 50% of the time, trapped thus …

D% Trap
0-30 – 1d4 spring-loaded daggers fire when chest is opened
31-50 – Same as above, but daggers are poisoned
51-65 – Poisoned gas released when chest is opened
66-75 – When opened, chest acts as mirror of life trapping
76-85 – When opened, chest explodes for 1d6+1 dice of damage (wow!)
86-90 – When opened, an enraged spectre comes out [which can be read a couple ways, either of them endlessly entertaining]
91-95 – All characters within 5 feet lose one level [after the first use of this trap, I guarantee everyone will give the thief plenty of space when opening chests]
96-98 – All characters within 5 feet lose one magic item
99-00 – Intelligent chest with abilities of 2nd – 9th level magic-user [nice!]

He also mentions intelligent gold pieces that scream when removed from a room, or replacing real gold pieces in a dragon’s horde with chocolate coins (though as valuable as chocolate was in the “olden days”, that might actually be a step up). He also brings up the idea of creatures with odd alignments (chaotic dwarves, for example).

A couple more spotlights (Joe Fischer rocks!)

Monster Gems are 500 gp gems that can be commanded to turn into monsters (per rolling a wandering monster) for one week – when the week is up, or they are killed, the gem is destroyed as well. It might be fun to rule that every gem worth 500 gp (exactly) is a monster gem.

Hobbit’s Pipe (by Marc Kurowski) – Clay pipe, when smoked, gives ability to blow multi-colored smoke rings (4 per turn, moving at 4” (40’) per turn – love the specificity). The pipe can be smoked 3/day. He also offers up five magic pipeweeds, a bag of infinite wealth, helm of forgetfulness, and ring of infravision.

—

Lynn Harpold give a long account of Quetzalcoatl and his cult in Central America.

—

Creature Features gives us the remorhaz. Love the “stat block”:

Move: 12”
Hit Dice: 6/10/14 (8 sided) dice
% in Lair: 20%
Type Treasure: F
Bite for 3-36 points
Breath for 3, 5, or 7 dice of fire damage
Magical Resistance: 75%
Low Intelligence
Neutral
Number Appearing: 1 (1-4 if in lair)
Description: 30’ long. Blue Hued underneath, wings & head backed with red.
Armor Class: Underside: 4. Back: 0 plus special. Head: 2.

Apparently, the standardization bug had not yet bitten.

—

Jon Pickens presents the Alchemist, a new D&D class. They don’t label this one as an “NPC Class”, so I guess it is fair game for all you D&D-ers out there. I’ll roll one up quickly for FlailSnails:

Xander Wort, Neutral 1st level Alchemist (Student)
Str: 5; Int: 13; Wis: 16; Dex: 16; Con: 7; Cha: 10
HP: 2; Attack: As Cleric; Save: As Fighter (+2 vs. poison and non-magic paralyzation)

Special:
Max. AC is 5
Can use one-handed weapons (excluding magic swords)
Use poisons and magic items usable by all classes
Psionic ability as fighters (replace Body Weaponry with Molecular Agitation)

Special Abilities:
Detect Poison 20%
Neutralize Poison 10%
Neutralize Paralyzation 15%
Identify Potion 5%
Read Languages 80% (one attempt per week)
Prepare poisons (strength level equal to their level; costs 50 gp and 1 day per level) and drugs (as poisons, but knocks unconscious for 4 hours)
Prepare a potion of delusion

Potions:
None – until 3rd level (Scribe)

His bit on poison is pretty cool. If the HD of the poisoner or level of poison is equal to or greater than the victim’s HD, they must save or die. If at least half their HD, they are slowed until a constitution check is passed, trying once per hour. If less than half, there is no effect, but the poison accumulates in the blood until it’s enough to slow or kill the person. A very nice system!

This is actually a very groovy class. The hit points are low, so I don’t know how long Xander would have to live, but he can wear some decent armor and load up on poisoned darts and a poisoned long sword and might just make it to 2nd level.

—

Jon Pickens also presents optional weapon damage, allowing fighters and thieves to gain mastery in different weapons, increasing the damage they deal with them (except with dwarf hammers, military picks, pikes, pole arms and arrows). Fighters master one weapon per three levels, thieves one weapon per four (and are limited to sword, dagger and sling). Those with a Dex of 13 or better can gain mastery with a combination of two weapons, gaining the ability to strike with both weapons per round or with one weapon and treat the other as a shield. Sword and sword or flail and morningstar combos require a Dex of 16 or better.

Another good system – very clean and simple to use.

—

All in all, a pretty good issue. Lots of neat rules ideas and some good pulp literature.

Dis, Grand City of Hell – Bureaucrats!

/ jstater / 2 Comments

I have no idea which preview this is, and yeah, I’m just lazy enough not to look.

Today, we’re looking at Spades.

Originally, I had planned on spades being associated with war, but then I realized that Spades was where I had planned to place Pandaemonium, the Parliament of Hell … thus, Spades is the center of Hell’s government … thus Spades is where the most terrifying thing in the universe has to live … BUREAUCRACY!

—

Within the blocks and quarters represented by the suit of spades are the most terrifying edifices of Hell, where even arch-devils and demon lords fear to tread … the government offices of Dis. Devils are natural bureaucrats, and the city of Dis lays this truth bare to the world. Each block of spades is crammed full of the government offices of one ministry or another. Petitioners find themselves waiting in lines that last for days only to discover they have the wrong paperwork or should be in the adjacent line.

One cannot enter one of these quarters without showing their papers (which they almost certainly will not have). This requires they be guided to a devil that can process their claim for papers, and thus starts the insanity. In essence, the attempt to process any task in one of these quarters is the same as for finding anything in a block of Dis, and the penalty (wisdom damage) is the same.

RANDOM ENCOUNTERS

D6 RANDOM ENCOUNTER
1. Zombie bureaucrats seeking papers (and brains) (4d6)
2. Amaimon tax collectors (1d8)
3. Azizou demons on inspection (1d6)
4. Iron golems (1d8)
5. Bearded devils on patrol (1d8)
6. Random official and retinue

“My symbol for Hell is something like the bureaucracy of a police state or the offices of a thoroughly nasty business concern.” – C. S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters (1942)

A. Nybbas: Nybbas is the demon lord of jesters and charlatans, and he heads up the Ministry of Food & Drink, which is in charge of tasting the food of archdevils and demon lords (they use shades for that) and in arranging entertainments and diversions for the masses of Hell. Nybbas’ quarter is always in an eternal state of misrule and mayhem, and the people here play rough, seemingly getting their ideas for pranks from old cartoons (you know, the funny ones made by our grandparents’ generation).

The quarter is a carnival of capering buffoons and clowns and mad pranksters parading through blocks that may once have looked like a sinister Paris, though it is now a ruin of broken glass, splintered wood and vandalized buildings. Besides the japing shades (most of them were wicked bards, illusionists and jesters in life), the quarter is inhabited by nupperibos and lemures, who work in the diabolical bureaucracy under the direction of dretches.

Nybbas’ gate is a 10-ft. tall red door with a golden knocker in the shape of grotesque jester’s face. Touching the handle on this door sends a 6 dice electrical shock into the person who touches it. The shock acts like chain lightning. Behind this door there is a 10-ft. long tunnel that ends in a second door colored green. When one enters this door, a gallon of alkahest, the universal solvent falls from the ceiling (save or struck by disintegrate spell). Beyond the green door there is a white door; when opened, the first person who opens it is struck by a scalding hot pie in the face (6d6 points of fire damage, plus 1d6 points of damage per round thereafter until the filling is scraped off). Beyond the white door there is a chamber guarded by 1d4+4 rubber chicken golems … okay, maybe that’s taking it a bit far. Beyond the white door is the final chamber – a seeming dead-end holding a garishly colored statue of a harlequin pointing at the door through which the adventurers entered. Pulling this finger releases a stinking cloud (as the spell) and, 6 rounds later, causes the entry door to become a gate into the next quarter.

In the center of this madhouse is a grand castle reminiscent of Mad King Ludwig’s Neuschwanstein castle, though Nybbas’ looks like it’s been through a tornado. The castle also serves as the ministry headquarters, where 20 companies of nupperibo and lemure bureaucrats do their best to follow the rather chaotic orders of their master. Five companies of red jesters serve as the supervisors of the ministry and Nybbas’ personal guard.

Nybbas appears as a fat man in a comfortable throne flanked by two fiendish giant hyenas. His court is filled with red jesters and shades forced to laugh eternally at stale old jokes and cruel pranks. Everyone entering the room must pass a saving throw each turn or be struck by hideous laughter. Nybbas has a moon-like face, glistening eyes that burn with an infernal passion and thin lips curved into a grotesque smile. He holds a traditional jester’s marotte tipped with a grimacing skull with living eyes.

NYBBAS: HD 15 (80 hp); AC -6 [25]; Atk 1 slam (2d10) or marotte (1d12 + save vs. hideous laughter); Move 6; Save 3; CL/XP 23/5300; Special: +2 or better weapon to hit, magic resistance 76%, immune to fire and poison, spells (dream, nightmare, hideous laughter, stinking cloud), summon 1d6 red jesters 1/day.

4. Chadper: Chadper is the Minister of Internal Revenues and perhaps the only demon in Hell more feared by other demons than by shades and mortal visitors. He and his tormentor demons, with their hell hounds, collect the tributes owed to Lucifer, in soul coinage and shades, by the other demons of Hell, down to the lowliest lemure.

The entire quarter is composed of black streets of smooth obsidian and buildings of the same material – all of it seemingly carved from a great block of the material and smoothed as though by burning sands. The only shades in Chadper’s domain are those collected for Lucifer and meant to be doled back out to the demon lords and arch-devils to reward their loyal service. They might be found in long chain gangs heading into or out of the city, but most often are kept in deep, stifling pits awaiting an accounting. These pits are guarded by squadrons of erinyes, who perch on the buildings above, slinging the odd dart or rebuke into the pits to keep the shades quiet. Chadper detests noise, and demands almost complete silence throughout his domain. All communication is by whisper or hand signal, and those who break this commandment are immediately set upon by a squadron of silenced tormentor devils and summarily executed.

The gates of Chadper’s domain are composed of the same obsidian as the rest of the domain, and consist of long tunnels with low ceilings (10-ft.) upheld by rows of pillars (20) carved into the shape of grotesque minotaurs. The gates are completely silenced, and rarely passed through save by captive shades, tormentors carrying back tributes, or demons and devils (including lords) coming hat in hand to beg forgiveness from Chadper and pay their taxes. The gates are guarded by obsidian golems, who merely masquerade as the grotesque pillars. Folk who enter the gate areas can be teleported by Chadper into his throne room as he desires, once per day.

Chadper’s great chancery is an obsidian cube, unadorned, with tiny doorways marked in silver tracery on the ground level of each face. Within are 1,000 joined courts where the tribute of Hell is counted, re-counted, certified and then, by the direction of Lucifer, doled back out. Chadper has no lair, per se’, but merely travels from court to court, accompanied by a squadron of tormentor devil guards, directing the dretches who serve him. He commands 8 companies of dretches and 20 companies of tormentor devils, making him among the most powerful devils in Hell. He can also sic a dozen hounds of Chronos on those defy him or refuse to submit to his summons.

Chadper appears as a faintly glowing angel with a twisted, atrophied face and two large, saucer-like ears that permit him to hear, per clairaudience, anything said in Hell. He wears black robes and a black breastplate and carries a +3 glaive that opens bleeding wounds (1d6 hit points per round until healed) in its victims. Those who die from these wounds rise up as vampires under his control.

CHADPER: HD 20 (101 hp); AC -5 [24]; Atk 1 glaive (3d4+3 + bleeding wounds); Move 18 (F24); Save 3; CL/XP 31/7700; Special: +2 or better weapon to hit, magic resistance 35%, immune to fire and poison, spells as 15th level cleric, double damage from sonic attacks and saves at -2 vs. sonic effects, control stirges and vampires, change into death fog (double strength) 1/day, summon 2d4 vampires or 1d4 stirge demons 1/day.

9. Leonard: Leonard, or Master Leonard, is also known as the “Black Goat” and serves as the Inspector General of Hell. His quarter appears to be a place of Renaissance splendor – broad avenues of azure stone flanked by white trees and buildings of peuce and tourmaline with ornamental iron work and gold filigree around the doors. Promenading through the streets are shades dressed in finery, with large, ribboned hats on the women and fine, ebony sticks in the hands of the men. All of these shades are mere illusion, and the buildings, though pretty, are all empty.

Underneath the streets the demons of the Inspector General do their work, in labyrinthine dungeon corridors were every torture known to demon is employed to root out opposition to Lucifer. The practitioners of the torture are 16 companies of azizou, who have a special knack for the work, while another 8 companies of barizou skulk about Dis seeking out disloyalty and inefficiency.

The gates of the quarter are located above ground, and are flanked by an honor guard of 60 manes demons in gleaming, golden armor, with hundreds of pretty, fluttering pennons on long pikes, each one topped by a bleeding, moaning head. The gates are curtains of acid (6d6 points of damage when walked through – save for half – and 1d6 points of damage each round thereafter (for 10 rounds) until neutralized with salt – eats flesh, stone and all metals except silver, gold and platinum). The curtains of acid are drawn aside to allow people to pass when Leonard wants them followed by his geruzou demons.

Leonard’s lair is deep within the dungeons under the streets, in a fortress of solid blue jade (3-ft. thick walls) called the Hall of Injustice. The Hall has many pitfalls and is guarded by a company of mehrim (goat demons). Leonard can be found in a scrying chamber, which allows him, via hundreds of floating crystal spheres, to see through the eyes of all of his servants.

LEONARD: HD 17 (101 hp); AC -1 [20]; Atk 1 touch (save or lose half hit points) or rapier (2d4+2 + 1d6 electricity); Move 18; Save 3; CL/XP 26/6200; Special: +2 or better weapon, magic resistance 85%, immune to electricity, petrification, poison and mind effects, cast spells as 11th level cleric and magic-user, teleport with error 3/day, scry (as with crystal ball) 3/day, summon 1d6 mehrim demons 1/day.