NTN TV Schedule – October 2020

The Nod Television Network proudly presents seven shows to make you quake with fear this Halloween season.

Sunday | IN SEARCH OF …

“Dracula”. I associate Sunday afternoons in the late 70s with two shows in particular – Ripley’s Believe It or Not, hosted by Jack Palance, and In Search Of … hosted by Leonard Nimoy. In Search Of … is like a who’s who of 70’s pseudo-science, covering everything from bigfoot to E.S.P. to the Loch Ness Monster to U.F.O.s. Originally telecast 6/8/77

Monday | SPECIAL PRESENTATION

“Witch’s Night Out”. October was always time for specials, and I suppose the Halloween special people know best is It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. Now, that’s a great cartoon – I love it to this day – but I also remember a show called Witch’s Night Out, which freaked me out as a kid. It was the art style – so weird and creepy. Gilda Radner provided the witch’s voice – what a lovely woman! Originally telecast 10/27/78

Tuesday | ADDAMS FAMILY

“Halloween with the Addams Family”. The Addams Family and Munsters both premiered the same year, and I love them both. You can’t beat John Astin and Carolyn Jones as the most romantic couple to ever grace television, and Ted Cassidy as Lurch is brilliant. I apologize in advance that the linked show cuts off the theme song. Originally telecast 10/30/64

Wednesday | FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE SERIES

“The Poison Pen”. This is the second episode of the series – I linked to the first episode in the August schedule. In this episode, the gang has to disguise themselves as monks to get into a monastery in search of a cursed pen. Originally telecast 10/10/87

Thursday | MOVIE – Horror

“The Monster Club”, 1981, starring Vincent Price and John Carradine. While this may not be the greatest film either of these men worked on … or anyone worked on … it is hosted by Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, and features an early appearance of UB40. I think Cassandra Peterson is a national treasure, along with Price and Carradine. Original telecast 2/6/83

Friday | SHE-WOLF OF LONDON

“She-Wolf of London”, series premiere. In the aptly named first episode of the series, Randi travels to England to study archaeology, and instead winds up a lycanthrope. I mentioned this one a few posts ago in my salute to 90’s TV – what better time than October to post the first episode. Originally telecast 10/9/90

Saturday | MONSTER SQUAD

“Ultra Witch”. Can Dracula, Bruce the Werewolf, and Frankenstein’s Monster, along with the Loveboat’s Fred Grandy, stop Julie Newmar as the Ultra Witch? Well, probably, since they’re the heroes. Watch it anyways – for Newmar if nothing else. Ultra Witch is the coolest name for a villain (or a band) I’ve ever heard. Originally telecast 10/30/76

BONUS!

PAUL LYNDE HALLOWEEN SPECIAL (1976)

I think I’ve established a relationship of trust with my readers, so when I tell you this Halloween special was pretty terrible, I know you’ll believe me. Of course, with my taste in entertainment, I consider this show terrible-great, rather than terrible-terrible. Like all such shows in the 70s (and boy, were there a bunch of them), you get a star-studded cast – Tim Conway, Margaret Hamilton, Witchie-Poo, Pinky Tuscadero, Donny & Marie, Florence Henderson and, the only reason this show managed to survive the 70s, the first TV appearance of KISS. Buckle up boys and girls – it’s going to be a bumpy ride! Originally telecast 10/29/76.

Of Fembots and Bikini Machines

During the 1960’s, beach movies by AIP (American International Pictures) briefly ruled the earth. As unfortunately as they might have been (honestly – I like most of them for exactly the reasons movie critics would tell me I should dislike them), their spawn were even stranger.

Enter Doctor Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine, a spy movie (kinda sorta) from AIP. Having just watched this movie over the weekend, I can report that is surprisingly high budget (for the time period and the quality of the picture), and even more amazing – not nearly as bad as it should have been. The presence of Vincent Price as Dr. Goldfoot probably has a lot to do with my forming this opinion, because I am an unabashed fan of his work. I also found the female lead, Susan Hart, surprisingly engaging as Diane (i.e. Number 11), the star of this particular blog post.

I’ll freely admit that I’m no expert on the subject of sexy fembots (though writing those words, I now am forced to wonder why not). I think Dr. Goldfoot may be the originator of the swinging, sexy, sixties fembots that plagued Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery. I know – Maria/Futura/Hel/Robotrix in Metropolis – but she didn’t swing like a pendulum do, so I’m not counting her.

In this case, they are gold bikini clad and possibly made from actual body parts filled with robot parts. They are produced by a large computer-ish machine, so maybe the bio-ingredients are rendered down into a paste and sprayed onto the robot chasis. They appear to do their best to avoid going “all the way” (as the kids say), so whether they are physically capable of going all the way is certainly in question. Diane, Number 11, is said by Dr. Goldfoot to be the most perfect of them – though that doesn’t stop him from torturing her with electro-shocks and menial floor scrubbing when she fails in her mission.

Dr. Goldfoot’s plan is simple, and would make a great Mystery Men! adventure. He picks a millionaire out of a magazine, programs his fembot to know what she needs to know to get him, equips the fembots with opera glasses that can jab poison needles into the eyes of their rivals, or lipsticks that shoot laser rays to blow their rivals’ head’s off, and sends them off to get hitched. They then use their feminine wiles to get power of attorney and then hand over the millionaire’s wealth to Dr. Goldfoot. Nice scheme … and it almost works. Or maybe it does. They never actually establish the SIC (Security International Command if my memory serves) completely foils the mad scientist.

Diane (Super Villainess), Adventurer
Number 11, Fembot
STR 7 | DEX 5 | CON 5 | INT 2 | WIL 2 | CHA 7
LVL 6 | HP 50 | DC 11 | ATK+6 | SPD 2| XP 7K

Powers: Charm (with kiss), Invulnerability III, Legend Lore (only very specific subjects that she has been programmed in), Phase (1/day), Super Cha +4, Super Str +4

Gear: Trench coat, fedora, walkie-talkie (implanted in head)

If we’re going to show the creation, we might as well show the creator.

Doctor Goldfoot (Super Villain), Scientist
True name unknown, Mad Scientist and Reanimator
STR 2 | DEX 3 | CON 6 | INT 12 | WIL 9 | CHA 3
LVL 11 | HP 50 | DC 10 | ATK+6 | SPD 2| XP 17.4K

Powers: Science Pool (30,000 XP)

Gear: Gold shoes with bells on the toes, handgun, super science devices