Lazy Sunday on the Couch

Well, 2021 has begun and I’m out of gas, so here are a couple things I watched this week that I found notable for weird reasons.

Up first is an episode of Lights Out entitled “Beware This Woman”.

Frankly, the show didn’t do much for me. The story was okay, but then you have Veronica Lake without her classic 40’s hairdo – very upsetting! What amazed me was the fact that Phil Hartman apparently traveled back in time to appear in the episode. When I looked up the actual actor, I discovered that he was Glenn Denning, and that was about it. To my mind, the lack of biography and credits for Mr. Denning proves that my Phil Hartman theory is correct.

In all seriousness, given what happened to Hartman, I’d love to believe he escaped his fate and was still entertaining people somewhere out there.

Lights Out originated on radio, and the episodes are worth finding – moody and creepy and very well done.

I also watched Murder Is News this week, a 1937 mystery.

Again, not a tremendous storyline, but I love b-movie mysteries from the 40’s, and I dug that the lead character, reporter Jerry Tracy, worked for the Daily Planet. Tracy was flying high in 1937, but a year later that new guy Clark Kent and ace reporter Lois Lane would be getting all the attention and poor Jerry was out of luck!

Tracy was played by John Gallaudet, who was in a favorite old TV show of mine, Burke’s Law – it was like the Love Boat of detective shows (which makes sense, since it was produced by Aaron Spelling). Also appearing in the cast was John Hamilton, who would later play Perry White in The Adventures of Superman.

OK – a lazy post today I know, but maybe the rest of you are feeling lazy as well and could use a couple hours of mediocre black and white entertainment to round out the day. Be well, everyone – and I hoped you remembered to eat some black-eyed peas on January 1st – we’ll need all the help we can get to deal with 2020 II: Electric Boogaloo!

Not Since the Leg Lamp …

… has an old man been so excited about something.

In this case, a gift I gave myself, which I know sounds bad, but this was one thing I could not resist:

The C64 – a retro computer based on the Commodore 64 and Vic-20!

All my friends had Ataris, and I wanted one sooooo much, but my dad wanted a computer that did more than play games, so I got a Vic-20. To this day, I am thankful for how responsible he was. The Vic-20 had games, of course, and I love them – Radar Rat Race and Gorf come immediately to mind. But I also learned some basic BASIC on the old Vic-20, and I still use a little of that knowledge to this day. I can still remember cracking open a computer magazine and spending hours typing in pokes and peeks to generate a static image of a jack-o-lantern or Christmas tree on the TV … only to know that when the computer was turned off, all that work was gone!

For the  children in the audience … let me take you back to time when console TVs doubled as computer monitors and programs were lost when you turned off the computer (unless you had the Commodore datasette!) It also meant that when dad got home from work and it was time for the news, you were done playing with your computer without some serious begging!

Flash forward to 2020 – I come across the C64 retro computer (I already do not remember where I saw it). It is apparently already released in Europe … but an unknown release date in North America. I had to have it. I hit Amazon, and lo and behold, it was available for pre-order. Pre-order I did!

I was not, however, going to hold my breath until it arrived, because I was pretty sure it wouldn’t. Just seemed to good to be true, and without a set release date – probably was not going to happen. Sure enough, a week or so after ordering it the shipping date was pushed back. And then pushed back again. Now it was supposed to arrive in mid-December. Yeah – right!

Out of sight, out of mind, and then I get an email notice … sometime around mid-December … that an order has shipped. I had a couple Christmas gifts for the fam on order, so I assumed it was one of those. Happily, I was wrong.

Here it is folks:

It’s a beaut!

And someday, if I’m really good and my puppy gives me a couple free minutes, I’ll get to play with it. I can’t wait!

(By the way – I still have that Vic-20 stored away in the closet – it’s the stuff I’ve gotten rid of that I regret, not the stuff I kept.)

I hope you folks get something you want for Christmas this year, or whatever holiday you might celebrate, and I also hope you get something you need.

Love and peace, folks!

Dragon by Dragon – May 1982 (61)

Wow – May of 1982. I was on the verge of being 10 years old, so probably 2 years away from discovering D&D, three from Tolkien and may five from superhero comic books. My only nerd-cred at the time was probably reading encyclopedias. What I do remember being excited about in 1982 – and begging to get for my birthday – were these new army figures called G.I. Joe. Have you seen these things? They’re like Star Wars figures (which I loved), but military (which I loved)! Awesome! I don’t remember exactly what I got that birthday, but I know I got a few of them, and I think I got the jet pack launch pad thingee. Unfortunately, within just a couple years I was done playing with toys, so I never had more than the originals and Doc. Good times, though!

Two-D’lusion (illusion)

A of E: 4 sq.”

CT: 1/6 segment

This cantrip is virtually the same as a phantasmal forces spell in most respects. The caster creates a two-dimensional illusion of whatever he or she desires. If any viewer observes it from an angle of more than about 45° from its horizontal or vertical viewing axis, the nature of the illusion will become immediately apparent. It is dispelled by touch or magic (dispel illusion or dispel magic). The illusion is invisible from the side or the rear. It lasts as long as the caster concentrates upon it. To effectuate the cantrip, the caster must speak a phrase descriptive of the illusion while making a circular motion with his closed hand.

Just so you know, “A of E” is “area of effect” and “CT” is casting time. I think 1/6 a segment would be 1 second, but I might be wrong on that. It’s been a while since I played AD&D.

It wouldn’t be until high school that I discovered Warhammer, and thus White Dwarf magazine. 

I always dig Giants in the Earth, either because it covers characters I know, or introduces me to new characters. This issue we get C. J. Cutliffe Hyne’s Deucalion, John Norman’s Tarl Cabot and Charles R. Saunders’ Dossouye. While I am aware of Cabot and have read some Saunders, I have never experienced first hand the characters described in this issue. I have, however, read Hyne’s The Lost Continent: The Story of Atlantis, from whence Deucalion comes (well, not really – it’s from ancient mythology really), and I can recommend it. A ripping yarn that, in my opinion, was reminiscent of Conan and such barbarian literature long before REH got his sandaled hero off the ground.

I always wanted one of those Dragonbone electonic dice rollers as a kid. A quick search on ebay revealed none for sale. Oh well – maybe some day.

Next are “Without Any Weapons …” by Phil Meyers and then “… or with a … Weird One” by Rory Bowman. The first has new rules for pummeling in AD&D, the rules for which were never very satisfying and always overly complex. They could have been quite simple, but the gaming zeitgeist of the time was all about complexity – a far cry from the old days when the game was the thing. The later article introduces new weapons for AD&D such as atlatls, blow guns, chakrams, bullwhips, etc. I had no interest in complex fighting rules, but always liked new additions like the weapons article.

For the gnome-curious out there, Dragon 61 had some groovy articles by Roger E. Moore about the littlest adventurers in AD&D. “The Gnomish Point of View” fleshes out the gnome characters – of course, your campaign may vary from Moore’s ideas, but it was always helpful, especially when I was young, to see how these things could be fleshed out. It is followed up with “The Gods of the Gnomes” – Baervan, Urdlen, Segojan and Flandal. Of course, Garl Glittergold was introduced earlier. I can remember thinking Flandal Steelskin was cool.

“Quest for the Midas Orb” by Jennie Good is the included module in Dragon 61. It was the third place winner at IDDC III, and I’ll admit I don’t know what that is. Here’s the introduction:

“Long ago in the land of Gnarda lived the worshippers of Kalsones, the god of wealth and power. Kalsones was a fair god who treated his followers kindly. As proof of his fairness and kindness in an era long past, he had presented the people with an artifact called the Midas Orb. Legends say if the Orb is held in one hand and another object is touched with the index finger of the other hand, the object touched will turn to pure gold.”

The adventure is a groovy dungeon crawl with some cool ideas in it. Well worth the read and probably well worth the exploration.

The “Dragon’s Bestiary” includes the Firetail by Ed Greenwood, the Umbrae by Theresa Berger, the Light Worm by Willie Callison and the Tybor by Jeff Brandt. Here’s the Light Worm for Blood & Treasure:

Light Worm by Willie Callison
Type: Monster
Size: Large
Hit Dice: 4
Armor Class: 14
Attack: Bite (1d6 + Poison IV)
Movement: 20′
Save: 16
Intelligence: Animal/Low
Alignment: Neutral
No. Appearing: 1 (25% chance of 1d3)
XP/CL: 1,200/6

SD – MR 75%, Immune (charm, hold, illusions), vulnerable (cold, fire)

Light worms are dungeon denizens with poisonous bites. They look like giant snakes with black underbellies and violet and light blue bands on their backs. The monster’s have two small bumps above their eyes, and stubs on their underside – perhaps vestigal legs. Victims of the light worm’s bite must save vs. poison (at +1 from the first bite, and a cumulative -2 penalty for each additional bite) or die in 1d8 minutes.

There is a 35% chance each round that the worm creates a 20′-diameter sphere of colored lights around victims within 120′. All creatures within the sphere are made dizzy for the first three rounds of their entrapment (-2 to attack, cumulative). In rounds four and five, they are so dizzy as to be incapacitated, and in round six they fall unconscious for 1d10+1 minutes, during which time they are devoured by the monster if at all possible.

Creatures that save against the sphere of lights are only made dizzy for three rounds, shaking off the effect thereafter. Dispel magic, mind blank and true seeing cut through the sphere of lights, as does a helm of telepathy.

The sphere of lights can be generated once every 12 hours.

Light worms are stunned for 1d3 rounds by the sticks to snakes spell, and the spell cancels a sphere of light currently in play.

The Monster Cards described in this issue were really cool. Each one depicts a monster painting on the front, and the stats on the back. If you can find some out in the wild, grab them, cherish them, and use them to kill player characters.

There is an article about introducing aging into the Ringside game, of which I know nothing. It is followed up by the “Jo-Ga-Oh – Little People of the Iroquois” by Conrad Froehlich. These are stats for three “monsters” that are quite groovy.

Gary Gygax has a supplement to Top Secret. Again, I know next to nothing about this game, but I like the level titles for infiltrators – snitch / foist / inside man / plant / ringer / contact / insinuator / penetrator / subversive / infiltrator. Given the title for 8th level, I guess we can assume that’s James Bond’s level. The article also has info on different types of missions, the XP value of them, and other notes. 

Boy – What’s New? With Phil and Dixie was just the best when you were in junior high …

It was fun discovering Phil Foglio’s art in old Star Trek fanzines. Everybody has to start somewhere!

Tramp’s Wormy has some gorgeous artwork – he was just getting better and better!

That, folks, is a wrap! Have fun folks, and please be kind to one another. 

Missing in Action

Holy Smokes – I missed the entire month of November on this blog! I do have a good excuse, though … the newest member of my party, Toby the 1st level Dingo.

I’m only half joking about him being a dingo – apparently he is a mix of Labrador retriever, border collie and Australian cattle dog. Those Australian cattle dogs have dingo blood, so I’ve enjoyed calling him my little dingo, or saying in my best bad Australian accent “the dingo IS my baby!”

For the last month, I’ve been chasing the little dingo around, playing with him, disciplining him, being chewed on by him. Exhausting! We’re finally to the point where I can put a computer on my lap and type for a few minutes each night. It’s also been busy busy busy at work, due to our network going down for a week. I’ve been scrambling to catch up – the fourth quarter reports are looming, and missing a week’s worth of data collection has not helped matters.

That’s my life at the moment – work and puppies. God knows it could be worse. On the bright side, I have my GRIT & VIGOR supplement, High Frontier, ready to go. I just need to combine the PDF files together (which I just realized I cannot do on my “new” laptop computer, because the software is on the old Samsung) and upload them to Drivethru and Lulu. That should be fun – I haven’t uploaded anything for a while. I should have the next NOD issue up pretty soon as well – it’s written and laid out – just needs the final touches.

So, until next time, this is your erstwhile blogger signing off. I’ll update everyone when High Frontier is available, and I’ll endeavor to get a post up this weekend – probably a Dragon by Dragon review. Have fun and please be kind to one another!

Happy Halloween Kids!

Hey all you little ghosts and ghouls – maybe the most appropriate holiday of 2020 is upon us – HALLOWEEN!

However you’re planning to celebrate (and I hope you’re planning to celebrate in some way – don’t let all the bastards out there get you down!), maybe this little wallpaper I made will help get you in the … spirit!

(Special No-Prize if you can name all the namable characters in there!)

I actually turned this thing into a poster, which I had printed at bestofsigns.com … and they did an absolutely fantastic job. Just a free plug for some folks who really came through. Oh – and no, the poster isn’t for sale anywhere. Just a personal project.

In the various and sundry category … RIP Sean Connery. I have a tremendous fondness for Roger Moore’s James Bond, since he’s the one I grew up with (mostly seeing the movies on TV – always a big event!), but you cannot deny the greatness of Connery in the roll. Then there’s his turn in The Hunt for Red October, Outland, Indiana Jones, Darby O’Gill and the Little People (in which he sings!) … Old Tam will be missed on the silver screen.

Also – I make a solemn oath to have the next issue of NOD, and the High Frontier supplement for GRIT & VIGOR out this November. I’ve dragged my feet on finishing them off and uploading them for sale (a process that becomes more tedious with each passing year and each passing revision to the process) for a couple months, so I need to finally cross that finish line.

Finally … I messed around with turning a classic piece of art by J. C. Leyendecker into a template for designing old-time football uniforms. Why? Because I’m writing a second edition of Pen & Paper Football with rules modifications for different eras of professional football, plus rules for the Canadian game, recreating old rosters (i.e. the last blog post I did) and some rules tweaks that I think improve the game. Of course, if I was going to playtest a league in the 1930’s, I needed to design helmets and uniforms! Here are a couple of my designs. My league is up to 1937 … I’m going to play it through to the 1980’s to test everything out, and then spend a couple weeks playtesting the Canadian rules. Fun fun fun!

Have a Happy Halloween folks! Eat some treats, watch a movie (I think we’re doing Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein tonight), and please choose love and fun over hate and despair!

Sometimes, You Get Lucky …

Sometimes you get lucky … but only after wasting lots of time getting it wrong.

I had a request, probably back in 2017 when I wrote Pen & Paper Football, to come up with a scheme to put stats to actual historical football teams. It was an interesting idea, but it required more work than I had the time for then, so I let it go.

When I was playtesting my game, I came up with a crude way to generate stats for teams using the 2016 stats of pro football teams. For my playtesting, I wanted a wide range of stats so I could see how the rules would work with extreme differences in stats. To do this, I took each team’s rating in passing, rushing, receiving, etc. and assigned stat scores starting at 18 for the top two teams, 17 for the next two, and so on from there. Fortunately, the league has 32 teams and I had 16 numbers between 3 and 18, so the process was pretty simple. This approach was crude, but it served my needs. Unfortunately, it was not what the person making the request was looking for to simulate old teams.

The problem with generating ability scores from game stats is that the ability scores in PPF are abstract. The QB/Passing stat, for example, overlaps to some extent with the WR/Receiving stat. It involves not only a team’s starting quarterback, but also the back-ups, and the offensive line’s ability to protect the passer and give him time to find his targets. Then there’s the coaching – the head coach, the quarterback coach, etc. – and their game plan and philosophy. How do you quantify this?

What I needed was an approach that didn’t just compare one team to another team in a given year, but which laid down an ideal quantification and compared any team, from any era, to that ideal. Back in the 1960’s, the league created the concept of a Quarterback Rating, and I figured I could use that as a basis for my work. It’s a somewhat complex formula (at least for hobby gaming), and I put some work into modifying it to rate running backs, but I would need it for receivers as well, and the defense, but defense stats weren’t compiled very well in the old days, and the receiver stats for a team were bound to mirror the quarterback stats, and … oh boy – what a mess!

My post showing off my brilliant scheme was going to appear last weekend, because I was sure I could clear it all up and produce a spreadsheet for people to use. Oh brother – what a huge waste of time. My whole philosophy about gaming is that it should be simple and fun – quick and easy. This wasn’t.

And then it happened. I was working at my desk the other day when a thought popped into my head. A simple way to simulate a team’s stats, using easily obtainable information, without any formulas or much work involved at all. Like I said – sometimes you get lucky!

Player-By-Player Stats

We begin by dividing among the PPF stats (QB, RB, WR, LM, LB, DB) the actual player positions. For each stat we take the three best starting players on a team that are tied to that stat. The position-to-stat breakout is as follows:

QB Quarterback, center, offensive guards
RB Running back, fullback, offensive tackles
WR Wide receivers, tight end
LM Defensive tackles, defensive ends
LB Linebackers
DB Cornerbacks and safeties

We rate players by their highest level of achievement while playing. This can make things a little tricky if we’re trying to recreate teams from the recent past, or from the present day, but with a little brain work and argument, I think one can figure it out.

Each player is scored for their lifetime achievement in pro football:

Achievement Score
None in particular 3
One pro-bowl/all-star game 4
Multiple pro-bowls/all-star games 5
Hall of Fame 6

Rookies deduct two from their score. One can also knock a point off for a player in the twilight of their career if they have clearly lost a step.

For each stat, you take the three best players, by rating, associated with that stat and add them up to get the relevant ability score.

For an example, I give you the 1984 Miami Dolphins:

Stat Players Score Bonus
QB Dan Marino (6), Dwight Stephenson (6), Ed Newman (5) 17 +5
RB Tony Nathan (4), Woody Bennett (3), John Geisler (3), Cleveland Green (3) 10 +3
WR Mark Clayton (5), Mark Duper (5), Dan Johnson (3) 13 +4
LM Bob Baumhower (5), Doug Betters (4), Kim Bokamper (4) 13 +4
LB Bob Brudzinski (3), AJ Duhe (4), Charles Bowser (3), Mark Brown (3) 10 +3
DB All players rate a 3 9 +3

The Minnesota Vikings were less successful that year – their stats are as follows:

Stat Players Score Bonus
QB Tommy Kramer (4), Ron Sams (3), Curtis Rouse (3), Terry Tausch (3) 10 +3
RB All players rate a 3 9 +3
WR Sammy White (5), Mike Jones (3), Steve Jordan (5) 13 +4
LM Charles Johnson (5), Neil Elshire (3), Mark Mullaney (3) 11 +3
LB Matt Blair (5), Scott Studwell (5), Dennis Johnson (3), Fred McNeil (3) 13 +4
DB John Swain (3), Rufus Bess (3), Tom Hannon (3), Carl Lee (5) 11 +3

The value of this system is that it requires little in the way of mathematics, and it is broadly applicable to different eras of football, since concepts like all-star games are pretty old, and players from the very beginning of football have been enshrined in the Hall of fame.

You can also use this system to create pro squads from the starting players of a given year instead of rolling a team’s stats. Use a random draft for the first year of play, then hold real drafts each year thereafter.

Earlier Eras of Football

To prove one can use this for different eras of the game, I present the 1920 Canton Bulldogs, with a couple caveats:

First – the game of football was different then, so the ability scores must change a bit. This is something else I’m working on for the next edition of PPF. For football before the forward pass dominated that game, you use the following ability scores:

BK (Backfield) = Tail Back, Full Back, Blocking Back, Wing Back, Center

RL (Right Line) = Right End, Right Tackle, Right Guard

LL (Left Line) = Left End, Left Tackle, Left Guard

Note that you only need the one set of stats, since players played both offense and defense in the same general spots.

In this version of the game, the defense commits to stacking their defense on the right or left, rather than against the run or pass, and the offense runs their plays to the right or left. Also keep in mind that the offense’s right is mirrored by the defense’s left, etc.

Using these stats, the 1920 Bulldogs look as follows:

Stat Players Score Bonus
BK Jim Thorpe (6), Pete Calac (3), Tex Grigg (3), Joe Guyon (6), Al Feeney (3) 15 +4
RL John Kellison (3), Pete Henry (6), Bulger Lowe (4) 13 +4
LL Bob Higgins (3), Cub Buck (3), Cap Edwards (3) 9 +3

So the Bulldogs are stronger on the right than the left, and have a pretty good backfield. With just one more all-star in the backfield, that could bump their backfield bonus to +5. Even without another all-star, Coach Thorpe can win some ballgames with these guys.

Ready for Some Pen and Paper Football

It’s an October Sunday, and by golly I was in the mood for some football. I’m not a huge fan of the modern iteration of the game (or the modern iteration of anything, for that matter), but I am a fan of a little game I wrote called Pen & Paper Football. It’s easily my top seller – being priced very affordably probably helps that. I haven’t really messed with it for a while, so this weekend I rolled up a quick league, spent a ridiculous amount of time designing uniforms to go with my helmets, and even made a few football cards (because it was fun, that’s why) … and eventually got around to rolling up some quick games. For the playoffs and championship I’ll play the games out longhand.

In the process of opening old files, I found a bit I wrote a while back and never published … well, I don’t think I ever published. It was some random “quirks” for football teams, to give them a little more personality.

D20

QUIRK

1

No quirk

2

+1 to d20 rolls during the first half of the game

3

+1 to d20 rolls during the second half of the game

4

+1 to defense while leading in a game

5

+1 to offense d20 rolls when more than a touchdown behind

6

+1 to offense in dome stadiums; -1 in outdoor stadiums

7

+1 to offense attacks in the red zone

8

+2 to passing attacks on 4th down

9

+2 to running attacks on 4th down

10

+1 yard per dice while passing in second half of game

11

+1 yard per dice when running  in second half of game

12

+1 to offense attacks on special plays

13

+1 to DR inside the red zone

14

+2 to DR when opponent is still scoreless in the 4th quarter

15

+1 to passing attacks when opponent is down by more than a touchdown

16

Anytime the defense sacks the QB, there is a 1 in 10 chance he must sit out the remainder of the offensive series (i.e. lose star QB, or -1 to QB bonus)

17

Get do-over when playing on the road instead of at home

18

Launch one cheerleader battle per game; roll 2d6 – opponent has to roll higher; if they do, you have to roll higher still, and so on until somebody falls; winner gets a do-over on the last play

19

After one blitz results in a sack, sacks now occur on a roll of 1 or 2 on offense attacks

20

Gain one do-over when opponent is ahead in the second half

Sorry for the brief post, but it’s been a busy weekend, and between California setting itself on fire and blowing the smoke in Vegas’ face and good old fashioned fall allergens, I haven’t had much sleep. Still, not a bad weekend overall – I made my pumpkin pasta that officially begins the fall season in the Stater household, discovered that Mr. T made a show in Canada (T and T) that ran from ’87-90, watched Rock & Rule for the umpteenth time and had the family over for a birthday party.  Ooo – I also found a Sony combination DVD/VHS player for my old TV for $4 at a thrift store … and it works!

There’s plenty of cruddy stuff going on out there folks, so accentuate the positive and do the best living you can do!

NTN TV Schedule – October 2020

The Nod Television Network proudly presents seven shows to make you quake with fear this Halloween season.

Sunday | IN SEARCH OF …

“Dracula”. I associate Sunday afternoons in the late 70s with two shows in particular – Ripley’s Believe It or Not, hosted by Jack Palance, and In Search Of … hosted by Leonard Nimoy. In Search Of … is like a who’s who of 70’s pseudo-science, covering everything from bigfoot to E.S.P. to the Loch Ness Monster to U.F.O.s. Originally telecast 6/8/77

Monday | SPECIAL PRESENTATION

“Witch’s Night Out”. October was always time for specials, and I suppose the Halloween special people know best is It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. Now, that’s a great cartoon – I love it to this day – but I also remember a show called Witch’s Night Out, which freaked me out as a kid. It was the art style – so weird and creepy. Gilda Radner provided the witch’s voice – what a lovely woman! Originally telecast 10/27/78

Tuesday | ADDAMS FAMILY

“Halloween with the Addams Family”. The Addams Family and Munsters both premiered the same year, and I love them both. You can’t beat John Astin and Carolyn Jones as the most romantic couple to ever grace television, and Ted Cassidy as Lurch is brilliant. I apologize in advance that the linked show cuts off the theme song. Originally telecast 10/30/64

Wednesday | FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE SERIES

“The Poison Pen”. This is the second episode of the series – I linked to the first episode in the August schedule. In this episode, the gang has to disguise themselves as monks to get into a monastery in search of a cursed pen. Originally telecast 10/10/87

Thursday | MOVIE – Horror

“The Monster Club”, 1981, starring Vincent Price and John Carradine. While this may not be the greatest film either of these men worked on … or anyone worked on … it is hosted by Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, and features an early appearance of UB40. I think Cassandra Peterson is a national treasure, along with Price and Carradine. Original telecast 2/6/83

Friday | SHE-WOLF OF LONDON

“She-Wolf of London”, series premiere. In the aptly named first episode of the series, Randi travels to England to study archaeology, and instead winds up a lycanthrope. I mentioned this one a few posts ago in my salute to 90’s TV – what better time than October to post the first episode. Originally telecast 10/9/90

Saturday | MONSTER SQUAD

“Ultra Witch”. Can Dracula, Bruce the Werewolf, and Frankenstein’s Monster, along with the Loveboat’s Fred Grandy, stop Julie Newmar as the Ultra Witch? Well, probably, since they’re the heroes. Watch it anyways – for Newmar if nothing else. Ultra Witch is the coolest name for a villain (or a band) I’ve ever heard. Originally telecast 10/30/76

BONUS!

PAUL LYNDE HALLOWEEN SPECIAL (1976)

I think I’ve established a relationship of trust with my readers, so when I tell you this Halloween special was pretty terrible, I know you’ll believe me. Of course, with my taste in entertainment, I consider this show terrible-great, rather than terrible-terrible. Like all such shows in the 70s (and boy, were there a bunch of them), you get a star-studded cast – Tim Conway, Margaret Hamilton, Witchie-Poo, Pinky Tuscadero, Donny & Marie, Florence Henderson and, the only reason this show managed to survive the 70s, the first TV appearance of KISS. Buckle up boys and girls – it’s going to be a bumpy ride! Originally telecast 10/29/76.

Saying Goodbye to a Good Girl

I’ve had quite a few dogs in my life, and I’ve loved every one of them with all my heart and soul. Josie still stands out. She was unbelievably sweet. Meek and mild, but ridiculously vivacious. Josie was a rescue. We actually went down to the place interested in a different dog that we’d seen online, and as we walked through the door saw that dog being adopted.

“We’re not leaving without a dog,” my wife informed me … and I agreed.

It had been about 6 months since our last dog had passed away. Kopper was 8 years old when he passed, after having gone through more trouble than any dog should ever have – he had a twisted leg, went blind at age 2, had to have his tail amputated due to a large growth … Kopper was a mess, but we loved him. After having to put him down, I didn’t know if I could go through it again. Six months later, I knew I needed the pitter-patter of dog feet around the house, and so off we went.

With our chosen dog out of the running, we started looking through their online guide. While doing that, my wife noticed Josie sitting in the rescue office. She had obviously just been passed by by somebody else, and was on her way back to the kennels.

“That’s Josie,” my wife said, “I remember her. I want Josie.”

So we met Josie, who ignored us while she was excitedly looking at the other animals up for adoption, and decided somehow that she was the one. Well – look at those pictures – how could we pass this sweet girl by.

Josie was only 2 when we adopted her. At 4-1/2, she contracted a rare and untreatable cancer. Three days ago, we had to put her down. She’d had 6 more weeks of walks and love (and for Josie, walks were almost the same thing as love) after her diagnosis, but was finally stuggling to breath, and was unable to eat. I sat on the floor of the examining room of our family vet and comforted her while she breathed her last. It was as hard as anything I’ve ever done.

So now I’m writing this, because Josie deserves a eulogy. She was a precious little gift from God, and we’ll miss her terribly.

Hug your pets, your kids, your spouses, your parents and siblings an everyone you love every time you see them. Hug them, and love them, and value them, folks. That’s what makes life worth living.

Everybody Loves a Spaceman in Uniform

After drawing those Jason of Star Command uniforms (in Excel, of course) for the post last weekend, I decided to try my hand at drawing some more sci-fi uniforms.

Below is the result of my mania. I chose a bunch of science-fiction TV and movie uniforms – not just costumes, you understand, but uniforms – and with MS Excel in hand cobbled them together as best I could. They are presented in the chronological order in which they appeared in reality – I thought about doing it in order of when the show/movie was set, and may do that one later.

It was a fun exercise, and although it took longer to do than I had planned, it sure helped me mellow out while I worked on it.

What’s your favorite old sci-fi uniform? What’s your favorite that didn’t make it onto my little poster? Let me know in the comments!