While watching a Stooges marathon on Antenna TV today, I was kissed by the muse (or maybe bonked by the muse, considering the source). Enjoy a class in a class of it own.
The Stooge
Stooges seem to coast through life, blissful in their ignorance and always coming through in the end.
Requirements: Stooges must have a constitution of at least 15. Their intelligence score can be no higher than 7, and their combined intelligence, wisdom and charisma scores can be no higher than 30.
Hit Dice: d8 (+3 per level after 9th)
Armor: Any
Weapons: Any (but see below)
Skills: None
Advance As: Fighter (in whatever system you play)
Class Features
Stooges can’t do much, but they can sure take a punch. A stooge ignores the 1 point of damage every time he or she takes damage. This increases to 2 points at 4th level, 3 points at 8th level and tops out at 4 points at 12th level. Any blow that should kill a stooge often only knocks them for a loop. The stooge may attempt a Fortitude save and, if successul, is only stunned for 1d4 rounds.
As tough as stooges are, you can’t call them brave. Stooges suffer a -2 penalty to save vs. fear. On the other hand, their heads are tough to crack. Spell casters who attempt to read their minds must pass a Will save or be struck with confusion for 1d4 rounds.
A stooge can fascinate people with his antics, whether he is tangling with another stooge or with a stubborn inanimate object, just as a bard of equal level. Stooges do not gain a bard’s suggestion ability.
When the going gets tough, the stooge gets going. Once per day, they can act as though under the effects of the expeditious retreat spell.
Stooges are masters of unorthodox unarmed combat. Their unarmed attacks inflict 1d4 points of damage at 1st level, 1d6 points of damage at 5th level and 1d8 points of damage at 10th level. Once per day per three levels they can attempt a stunning attack (if they hit, the victim must pass a Fortitude save or be stunned for 1d4+1 rounds). If a stooge is facing three adjacent opponents, they can do a triple slap, rolling once to attack and applying that roll to hit all three of them. Unfortunately, whenever up to three stooges are adjacent to an enemy, it gains the ability to make the same unarmed attack against them.
Apparently, it is Blogger Appreciation Day. So, just wanted to say thanks to all the various bloggers I read and enjoy, from old school (and sometimes new school) RPGs to economics to art and design. We live in an age of wonders when people from all over the world can come together in real time and argue about crap like ascending vs. descending AC, ability limits based on gender, the wisdom of level limits and whether or not alignment languages are stupid.
Also – in case you are interested – Lulu is doing a 29% off Leap Day sale. If you’ve been thinking about a purchase from me or any of the other fine folks who sell their wares on Lulu, today is probably a good day to take the leap!
You see what I did there? “take the leap” – Leap Year. That’s a joke, son. A funny. I keep pitchin’ ’em, but you ain’t catchin’ ’em. You must have a hole in your glove …
Weird Al aside, just want to take this opportunity to thank everyone who made 2011 a good year for me. I spend my days researching the Las Vegas commercial real estate market and the economy in general, which has been both interesting and depressing for the last few years (and just wait for 2012 …), but the year has been pretty good overall. I’ve had the opportunity to do some TV interviews here in town, which has bolstered my real job. The family is healthy and happy, by and large, and I’m thankful for that.
On the hobby side, I want to thank all of the kind folks who read the blog and buy my goods – you’ve made a dream come true for me. I want to thank Bill Webb and Frog God Games for giving me the opportunity to be published by someone other than myself (Hex Crawl Chronicles – available now!), and for the opportunity to work on Tome of Horrors Complete and the new Rappan Athuk conversion. I’d also like to thank the players of my Google + Mystery Men! game, which is proceeding nicely through the Dark Renaissance storyline (the heroes are now split between Washington D.C. and Greenland – who knows where they will go next).
For those who didn’t have such a banner 2011, I pray that 2012 is a better year. Economics and finances is a big part of life, but it is only one part of life. Many folks who lived through the Great Depression learned that lesson and a few of us old timers (well, middle agers maybe) were lucky enough to spend time with those folks, who were our grandparents to hear about their experiences. That said, when the wolves are at the door, it’s hard to pay attention to much else. The best we can all do in 2012 is to be creative, productive and optimistic.
Finally … NOD
In two years (well, really more like a year and a half) I’ve managed to scrawl out 12 issues of my own little magazine. I’m hoping for another six issues in 2012.
NOD 13 (Feb ’12) should feature three more rings of Hell – Abaddon, Gehenna and Stygia. I should manage to get the different shades of dragons in this one, as well as some more Mystery Men! content. I have one more level of the Pleasure Palace of Izrigul I want to produce, but I’m not sure when it will happen. Sometime in 2012 for sure. By the time this is out, I hope Space Princess will also be out, allowing me an opportunity to play with sci-fi a bit more in the magazine.
NOD 14 (Apr ’12) will delve into Dis, the massive city of Hell. I’m hoping to do something interesting with this one – more of a metaphysical crawl through the back alleys of the mind than a proper city with streets and buildings. We’ll see. Hopefully Blood and Treasure will be completed by the time this issue arrives.
NOD 15 (Jun ’12) will kick off Summer with the final installment of the Hell hex crawl, right down to Hell’s frozen heart and the great escape through Lucifer himself. God willing, I’ll have begun work on Action X by now. I also hope to complete a Pars Fortuna dungeon for this issue.
NOD 16 (Aug ’12) will leave Hell behind for the savannah of Pwenet and the jungle basin of Cush. I’ve already submitted an excerpt from this Africa-inspired hex crawl to Fight On!, and this issue will take up half of that complete hex crawl.
NOD 17 (Oct ’12) will feature the city of Iksum on the savannah of Pwenet. Iksum has a small part to play in a future adventure set in Nod that is being written by Greg Vaughn, who does work with Frog God Games. I have no idea what else will show up this far in advance.
NOD 18 (Dec ’12) will round out the year with the finish of the Cush/Pwenet hex crawl and other assorted holiday goodies. I didn’t think I’d make it to 6 issues in 2011, and I only hope I can make it to 6 in 2012.
Besides Nod, I’ll be working to finish Space Princess, Blood and Treasure, Action X, Queen and Kaiser and 1800 – American Empires. I have a few mini-campaign ideas for NOD, including one based on the Bowery Boys/East Side Kids movies. I had wanted to do a couple other mini-campaign things in 2011 that didn’t materialize, and perhaps they will show up at some point in 2012 (post-apocalyptic Great War and giant robots). Some folks have asked for a compilation of classes that have appeared in NOD over the past couple years, and if I hear from some more people interested in such a thing, I’ll see about doing that as well.
Oh, and if the Mystery Men! Dark Renaissance campaign on Google + comes to a close (which I think it will), I’d like to start a new campaign … maybe a crazy MM! campaign based on the comics of the Silver Age, but more likely something with Pars Fortuna or a Nod hex crawl. A cruise along the highways of post-apocalypse America with Mutant Truckers could be fun as well, and might not take too much time. If you’d be interested in playing such a game on Google +, keep your eyes peeled for announcements on this blog.
So, to close this ridiculously long blog post (and blogging in general for 2011) – Thank You! I hope I can continue to entertain folks with my writing in 2012 and well into the future. If any of you need some help making your own ideas materialize, feel free to call on me – I’ve been very fortunate these last two years, and I’d love to help somebody else realize their dreams in 2012.
Nothing geek or game related. Just a wish for a Merry Christmas to all within the sight of my pixels!
(Well, okay, the Santa image to the right is kinda steampunk, so I guess there’s a little something geek related).
(And I said pixels, and that’s a bit geeky.)
Oh – what the heck …
FLYING REINDEER
Flying reindeers are more than just magical beasts – they are cherished creatures of the forces of Law. They appear as large, handsome reindeer with a golden tinge to their fur and a crystalline sheen to their antlers. They are uncommonly intelligent and immensely patient, though they fly into battle with creatures of chaos at the drop of a hat. The most famous of the flying reindeer are part of the team used by Saint Nicholas to make his one-per-year trip around the world to deliver gifts and tokens to all the Lawful boys and girls in the world.
Flying reindeer are capable of using the following spells: At will – detect evil, sanctuary; 3/day – haste; 1/day – time stop. They are always under the effect of a protection from evil 10-ft radius spell.
FLYING REINDEER: HD 6; AC 3 [16]; Atk 1 gore (2d6) and 1 bite (1d4); Move 15 (Fly 36); Save 11 (9 vs. abilities of chaotic creatures); CL/XP 11/1700; Special: +1 or better weapon to hit, immune to cold, turn undead as 10th level cleric, spells, smite evil 1/day (double damage if gore attack is successful, forces demons and devils to save or be thrown back into Hell), magic resistance (15%).
No, not a blog anniversary. That’s in March sometime. A wedding anniversary. Number 17, in fact. If you enjoy all the nonsense I post on this blog and publish through Lulu, join me in thanking my wife, Wendy, for her support and tolerance of this very geeky, often time-consuming hobby of ours. About a decade or so ago, I had put my RPG days behind me. When some friends invited me to play some of the new D-n-D (I was so far out of the hobby that I didn’t know TSR was gone and a new version of the game in the works), I was hesitant. My wife thought I should go play with my friends. Ultimately, this led me to the new old versions of the game and convinced me I should give blogging a try. That led to the publishing and a new facet of my life – just in time for a very geeky mid-life crisis, I guess. So, this is to my bride of 17 years – I hope for countless happy years to come, but with her I’m ready for anything the world can throw at me. Except maybe rabid badgers shot out of a bazooka – who could really be ready for that?
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Now, for the game content …
Golden Bands of Bonding: These two golden rings are plain and unadorned. When slipped on the fingers of two people in love, they act as rings of protection +1. When the people hold hands, they create protection from evil, 10′ radius and sanctuary effects. When apart, the rings allow the wearers to know the general state of well-being of the other. If one is in mortal danger, the rings allow the mate to call them (as a summoning spell) to their present location. This drains the remaining magic in the rings, and they become ordinary rings thereafter. If one of the ring wearers is killed, the mate can instead use this magic to summon the person’s killer.
Ah – December! The crisp air, the smell of expensive holiday-themed candles, fruit cakes … it always brings one thing in particular to my mind. Martians!
In particular, the hapless buggers who dared kidnap Santa Claus. Having had the annual viewing of the MST3K classic riffing of Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, and with the eminent release of Space Princess, I figured it made sense to mash the two together. When the Christmas season rolls around and you’ve gathered your friends to play some Space Princess over a glass of eggnog, you’ll be well prepared.
Martian
The Martians are green-skinned humanoids of a (formerly) warlike race. From an early age Martians are educated by thought waves projected from computer banks and received by cybernetic antennae jutting from helmets almost always worn on their heads. These helms act as communicator devices (see Super Science). Martians arm themselves with freeze ray guns. Most wear skin-tight green costumes, while leaders are designated by their use of cloaks.
Martians dwell in subterranean cities that abut their famous canals, which transfer water from the poles to the warmer climes. Martians require very little air and are immune to cold. Despite their planet’s lower gravity, they appear to be just as strong as human beings.
The elders of the Martian race are called chochems. These mystics can employ four psychic powers. They dress in robes and carry staves.
For the past generation, Kimar has served as the leader of the Martian people. It was he who personally led the expedition to bring Santa Claus and Christmas to the Martians. In the time since the arrival of Santa, the Martians have become less warlike and more generous. Still, some elements among them seek a return to the old ways. A leader among these rebels is Voldar, a mustachioed thug with a cruel sense of humor.
MARTIAN WARRIOR: HD 2; DEFENSE 6; MELEE 6 (fists 1d4); RANGED 6 (freeze ray gun); MOVE N; STR 4; DEX 4; MEN 3; KNOW 5; DL 2; SPECIAL: Immune to cold.
CHOCHEM: HD 1; DEFENSE 4; MELEE 4 (staff 1d6); RANGED 4; MOVE N; STR 3; DEX 3; MEN 5; KNOW 7; DL 2; SPECIAL: Immune to cold, four psychic powers (activate +12).
VOLDAR: HD 6; DEFENSE 9; MELEE 12 (fists 1d4); RANGED 9 (freeze ray gun); MOVE N; STR 6; DEX 4; MEN 3; KNOW 5; DL 6; SPECIAL: Immune to cold.
KIMAR: HD 8; DEFENSE 13; MELEE 12 (fists 1d4); RANGED 13 (freeze ray gun); MOVE N; STR 4; DEX 5; MEN 4; KNOW 6; DL 8; SPECIAL: Immune to cold.
By the way – if any artist out there would like to draw their rendition of Capt. Kirk performing his famous flying kick on Voldar while Santa and Spock look on, well, I’m sure we’d all like to see it!
To start off, I want to give thanks for what has been a pretty good year for me. A couple years ago, I wouldn’t have thought I’d now be making a few bucks writing game material and even publishing my own games. I’m thankful for the opportunities I’ve had and for the support folks in the game community have given me. I’m even more thankful for my wife, daughter and family and friends. Things are going well today, but I know that things can change, and I’m determined to be thankful for what I have while I still have it.
Now then, on to the goodies. When I was a kid, we used to do these book orders in elementary school. One of the items we could get from these four-page “catalogs” was a subscription to one of two magazines (I think one was four younger kids, the other for older kids, though which is which I don’t remember), Bananas and Dynamite. One little article from Dynamite that stuck with me was about “Zero Heroes”. Apparently, these less-than-stellar superheroes were created by B. K. Taylor as a set of stickers. Years later (now, in fact) I managed to find them online (amazing, isn’t it) and happily present you a hero for the holiday (well, kinda).
The Great Gobbler
According to the back of the sticker, the Great Gobbler had some exciting adventures, but his series was finally cancelled because, no matter how exciting they were, people couldn’t get over the fact that he was just a big turkey.
Just wanted to pop in today and say thank you, from myself and my family, to all the men and women who have served and are serving in the U.S. military and its many allies over the years.
Think about giving a donation to the USO, or one of the many fine charities that support our fighting men and women, such as Wounded Warrior or TAPS.
Nothing fancy in this post – just my wishes that everyone who reads this blog (and everyone who doesn’t) has a fun, healthy Christmas and prosperous, successful New Year – keep on gaming and good luck in all your endeavors!!!
Oh, and since I feel like I should do something game related …
Wand of Ice Missiles: The wand of ice metals is a cobalt blue tube about 12 inches long. By blowing in one end, you can launch a magical dart of ice out the other. The ice darts have a maximum range of 30 feet and deal 1d4 points of physical damage and 1d6 points of freezing damage. The ice darts also numb (effectively paralyze) the body part they hit. Roll 1d10 on the following table:
1-2. Right leg – movement reduced by one half, cannot run
3-4. Left leg – movement reduced by one half, cannot run
5. Left arm – unable to use shield or weapon
6. Right arm – unable to use shield or weapon
7-9. Torso – paralyzed for 1d4 rounds
10. Head – Unconscious for 1 hour
In all cases, the target receives a saving throw to avoid the numbness. Attacking with the ice dart requires a successful ranged attack. The wand can be used four times per day, but only once per hour, unless you are in a cold environment, in which case it can be used once per round, up to 10 times per day.
Here’s a little preview of an article appearing in NOD #6 (any time now – almost there).
Bag of Goodies
The bag of goodies works in much the same manner as a bag of tricks, save instead of producing small animals (other than kittens and puppies), it produces small, simple toys. The prospective recipient of a gift must reach into the bag while making a wish, pulling out either a small toy made of wood or tin or, if they are chaotic or evil, a lump of coal. Wishes for swords will produce wooden swords, which can be used as clubs in combat. The bag operates once per year per person.
Chimney Charm (Spell, MU Level 2)
By touching one’s finger to one’s nose (but not placing it inside – different charm), they ascend through any chimney-like tube or hole, regardless of size and unharmed no matter what other material (smoke, water, acid) might be coursing through said concourse.
Dreidel of Fortune
This clay top can only be made by a lawful cleric of at least 3rd level. The dreidel is inscribed with the glyphs that mean “Nothing”, “Half”, “All” and “Put In”. When a gold piece is offered (it disappears when the top is spun) and the top is spun while chanting a charming ditty, the dreidel has the following effects (roll 1d4):
1. Nothing – Nothing happens to the spinner
2. Half – All spells and powers used by the spinner work at 50% efficacy for the next 24 hours
3. All – All spells and powers used by the spinner work at double efficacy for the next 24 hours
4. Put In – The spinner loses 1d6 x 100 XP to the top
And a petty god for the season …
Saint Nick (Demigod)
Saint Nick is the fey demigod of just desserts. He appears as a jolly gnome, dwarf or human (as he chooses) with white hair, a long white mustache and beard, a large, red nose and twinkling eyes, dressed in red robes and wearing a pointed red cap. Saint Nick carries a large, green bag from which he can pull any desire of a good creature who petitions him with a sacrifice of milk and cookies (per limited wish), but for wicked creatures he instead pulls out a large whipping stick and beats them to within an inch of their life (i.e. 1 hit point). Saint Nick is as strong as a frost giant and as nimble as a sprite. He can use the following spells at will: Animal Summoning (8 reindeer), Charm Monster, Chimney Charm, Detect Evil, ESP, Know Alignment, Magic Snow Ball and Uncontrollable Laughter.
Saint Nick’s clerics dress like their patron, with red robes over their armor and a whipping stick at the ready. They can learn the spells Chimney Charm and Magic Snow Ball when they learn to cast cleric spells of the equivalent level. Saint Nick’s clerics must pass on 50% of all treasure they collect to the poor and needy. At 9th level, they build fortified orphanages and hospices, conducting waifs and the sick from cities via caravan to their palaces of generosity.
Land of Nod 