Or whenever the paladin was first published. I wanted to be clever with the title, but not to the degree that I was going to do five seconds of research with Google.
Paladins, at 5th level, can undertake a quest to obtain a very intelligent mount. Depending on the edition you play, this mount either hangs out with you all the time and sorta requires you to hire a groom or page or whatever to look out for it when you’re in a dungeon, or it just pops into existence whenever it is convenient. You can probably guess which concept I like better.
But what if … what if there were more options than that super-clever wonder horse? Well, how about these …
(Use as inspiration, or roll randomly with a D12)
1. Mechanical Warhorse – requires a quest to settle a grudge for the Dwarf King, who forged the horse in his own workshop. Just combine an automaton and a heavy warhorse to get the stats. For anti-paladins, the mechanical warhorse is grey and spiky.
2. Putti – I think I did stats for these fellows once (you know, the chubby, winged babies people mistakenly call cherubs or cupids), if not, just make them Lawful (LG) imps. For anti-paladins, just use an imp.
3. Unicorn – but only if the paladin is female. For anti-paladins … not sure.
4. Aasimar Squire – 4 HD, of course. For anti-paladins, a tiefling picaroon.
5. Blink Dog – maybe the quest involves rescuing it from a giant’s kennels. For anti-paladins, a shadow mastiffs.
6. Halo – actually a lantern archon with 4 HD that oftens hangs out around the paladin’s noggin. For anti-paladins, just craft a red-hued evil version of the lantern archon.
7. Relic – the relic is the skull of a cleric which the paladin can communicate with telepathically, and which can cast spells as a 4th level cleric (though not touch spells, obviously).
8. Choir – a choir of four 1 HD lay priests who can chant (as the spell) and inspire (as bards). For anti-paladins, four 1 HD flaggelants with scourges who do the same.
9. Gold Wyrmling – precocious, of course. For anti-paladins, a red wyrmling.
10. Brownie Knight – gained by embarking on a quest for the Fairy Queen, a bit of a curmudgeon. For anti-paladins, a spriggan thug of the Unseelie Court.
11. Elven Sage – an old codger with silver hair who can cast spells as an adept (venerable master). For anti-paladins, a drow alchemist who may or may not be trying to poison their master.
12. Reformed Prostitute – a prostitute who has seen the light and can cast spells as an adept (venerable master; note, the prostitute is not venerable in terms of age, but in terms of the blessings bestowed upon him or her). For anti-paladins, a fallen, alcoholic friar or nun.
10 thoughts on “Horses Are Sooooo 1978”
You do think up some weird things. LOL
But cool suggestions.
Sweet picture of the NFL browns mascot
1961 is when the D&D version of the paladin class was first published, complete with magical mount.
I wouldn't mind that unicorn that breathes fire with the armed cat mascot on it's back: way better than some stodgy old war-horse. If not for specific alignments, I'd like to run a CN paladin with that creature-combo. A built-in flame-thrower and a dangerous cat: what else could a fanatical female knight hope for when calling out “war-horse!”? What a great idea. Anti-paladin = nightmare & hell-hound creature companion. What a great battle that would be! That cat with its pistol vs the hound, the two female knights on their dangerous mythic creature mounts; fire everywhere…it reminds me of the opening scenes of THE NINE PRINCES OF AMBER. I wanna go make a paladin now.
What if the Paladin were to touch the relic skull to the target? Wouldn't that count for a touch attack?
Knew somebody was going to ask me that! I would leave that ruling up to the Ref – do they require a touch spell to be delivered by touching with a hand, or with any part of one's body? Hey, I just generate the nonsense – I leave the details up to the Refs!
I love short, creative lists like this that get you thinking about old rules in a new way. Great stuff.
Hilarious to see Svengooli as an example.
I suggest a Nightmare as mount for the Anti-Paladin, especially because after some legends Nightmares were former Unicorns…
Love the nightmare, but it's a bit more powerful than the other critters on the list – 6 HD, wings, etc. Perhaps a pared down nightmare – no wings, 3 or 4 HD.
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